Parkinson’s disease
The cool morning air presents a grand opportunity to address the budding new grass that rampantly insinuates itself in the garden beds. Recollecting the addition of grass cuttings last fall to the compost heap now strikes one as an unwise choice. Apparently, enough seed and root segments survived the heat of the composting to become the genesis of new life in the planting beds. Challenged by the mistake and armed with new knowledge, we slowly and steadily attack the sprouting grass with an extracting tug. Whatever the cause, the work now is to diminish the unwanted vegetation giving room for the desired and intended garden selections. Parkinson’s disease seems to insinuate itself in the area intended for living and appears to desire obstruction by its very presence. We’ve determined what its cause is not and have speculations as to what is its cause, but neither help with the problem of its ever present challenges to what has been assumed as normal routine. Just as the planting beds require a steady “weeding” so this dopamine challenged body needs a steady routine of “weeding” out of stiffness and resistance by maintaining some semblance of exercise and flexible activity. Sometimes the challenges are great and sometimes they are less, but always they remind this participant of the gratitude that fuels the engine of perseverance. The weeding, ever so slow, stands as a reminder that obstacles are removed or diminished one tug at a time.
A foggy mist hovered the ground as dawn’s first light peeked from the horizon. As cooler air stirs across the landscape the crispness of the new day offers a welcomed reprieve from the unseasonable temperatures of the past week. Sunlight and warmth have combined to give the broccoli and asparagus daily regeneration as they are collected for the weekly stir fry. Even Gracie the Golden Retriever frolics with abandon across the field, stopping only to inspect the remnants of the passing deer from the night before. Gratitude wells up within as we survey the blessings of life on the farm. Although challenges abound not only to stay ahead of the grass in the garden, but also to stay ahead of the stiffness that would rob us of freedom of movement, we tackle each with the power of thankfulness that we have another day of opportunity. Parkinson’s disease is challenging and by the grace granted us we rise to the challenge with a heart full of gratitude and mind of determination to live each day to the fullest! “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
As the rain descends bringing its reviving essence to the waiting garden and fields the sound on the tin roof creates an inviting time for reflection. The anticipation of the cardiac procedure a few days before led this palpating patient through multiples of thoughts about the nature of such an event. I barely know the doctor. I had only met him once, and yet I was about to willingly submit my life into his hands (along with an Anesthesiologist). Why would I do such a thing? I pondered. There was a rational answer that I quickly concluded: This was a potential means to re-setting my heart into normal sinus rhythm, thus eliminating the potential of stroke or heart attack from this source and returning to a life without anticoagulants and their potentially harsh side effects. But, “why this doctor at this medical institution?” I queried. Then I began to fantasize about asking the doctor if he would undertake this procedure on me if he weren’t being paid to do so. I could envision the man laughing in my face, but the question was a serious one to me. I wanted to be more than patient number X. I wanted to be the person who has a medical need to be attended and would be attended because the person attending would welcome the same from me should he have the need and I the experience. Suddenly the whole notion of “love your neighbor as yourself” began to take on a different meaning than I had seen before. The abstraction of that Biblical command suddenly had a very personal meaning that I had forgotten. What if our culture supported Doctors, Dentists, Teachers, Lawyers and even Politicians, who trained to become such simply because the world was full of people who needed their expertise and skill? What if Dentists performed extractions or implants simply because there was a human being who needed that help and the dentist would be secure in knowing that if he or she needed it, someone else would be there to provide it? I don’t possess the formula for resolution to those questions or circumstances and I could think of hundreds more, given the time. I do hold the potential for a step in the direction of a solution. That potential begins with me. Others will answer for themselves (or not) but I must contemplate where I am being called to act in love toward others as I also would need them to act on my behalf. Whether Parkinson’s disease, heart arrhythmia, or a person just needing to feel heard and understood, there are others who yearn to know they would be worth the giving of time, expertise, or understanding. It appears that gratitude is the harvest that the seed of pondering has rendered during a time of doubt and fear.
Clouds hover as they disrupt the rays of the sun. Peering through the window it seems apparent that the temperature is cold and uninviting. A walk outside dismisses the thought of cold as the warmth of the air embraces one’s face. Adjusting to the weather change is inviting, but sometimes challenging. Adjusting to change with Parkinson’s is challenging as well. Each person’s experience is uniquely different, much like each person’s experience with today’s weather is patently their own. Years ago I studied the various manifestations of this neurological disorder known as Parkinson’s disease. It was then part of my job educating pharmacists on the nuances of diminution of pyramidal cells in the brain and the subsequent loss of dopamine, an essential neural transmitter. Then it was clinical and distant, much like the view of the weather from inside the house. Now it is up close and personal and nothing like what my “clinical” version rendered. Thankfully, none of the symptoms are as bad as I had once imagined. Some say “just wait, they will get there.” I think they may or may not be right, but as the symptoms “progress” they will again be experienced within my unique perception. The journey is one of passage through the various stages described as grief. Sometimes I experience anger at the discomfort, pain, stiffness and patent slowness in movement. Other times I press forward in denial that anything could keep ME from accomplishing my heart’s intent. Then again I slump in my chair of despair and shed tears at the loss of agility. The most blissful of times are those embraced by acceptance that challenges may come and go, but there are responses to those challenges that may brighten the day when wrapped as the gift of gratitude for yet another opportunity. No matter the metaphorical condition of weather outside, the joy of life’s experience is uplifted by the level of gratitude and thankfulness nurtured on the inside!
Sun brightens the day as the wind brings much welcomed warmth to the farmland. The goats and chickens revel in the sprigs of fresh grass emerging from the still chilled but moist earth. Grubs, earthworms and tiny blossoms serve as the foundation for orange rich yokes in the freshly laid eggs. Trees and shrubs are sending forth their springtime buds that will soon blossom into full flowers bearing witness to spring’s arrival. We wholeheartedly embrace the new found warmth knowing that yet more days of deep chill are yet to manifest themselves. Even so, we greet this warm reprieve with a mind filled with gratitude. Thankful for relief from the icy cold of winter, we enjoy that which is today’s gift. We are reminded in the throes of untoward symptoms of Parkinson’s disease that relief of rigidity and resting tremor comes and goes like the change in seasons. A grateful heart greets the relief of symptoms as surely as the budding daffodils greet the warmth of spring.