As the rain descends bringing its reviving essence to the waiting garden and fields the sound on the tin roof creates an inviting time for reflection. The anticipation of the cardiac procedure a few days before led this palpating patient through multiples of thoughts about the nature of such an event. I barely know the doctor. I had only met him once, and yet I was about to willingly submit my life into his hands (along with an Anesthesiologist). Why would I do such a thing? I pondered. There was a rational answer that I quickly concluded: This was a potential means to re-setting my heart into normal sinus rhythm, thus eliminating the potential of stroke or heart attack from this source and returning to a life without anticoagulants and their potentially harsh side effects. But, “why this doctor at this medical institution?” I queried. Then I began to fantasize about asking the doctor if he would undertake this procedure on me if he weren’t being paid to do so. I could envision the man laughing in my face, but the question was a serious one to me. I wanted to be more than patient number X. I wanted to be the person who has a medical need to be attended and would be attended because the person attending would welcome the same from me should he have the need and I the experience. Suddenly the whole notion of “love your neighbor as yourself” began to take on a different meaning than I had seen before. The abstraction of that Biblical command suddenly had a very personal meaning that I had forgotten. What if our culture supported Doctors, Dentists, Teachers, Lawyers and even Politicians, who trained to become such simply because the world was full of people who needed their expertise and skill? What if Dentists performed extractions or implants simply because there was a human being who needed that help and the dentist would be secure in knowing that if he or she needed it, someone else would be there to provide it? I don’t possess the formula for resolution to those questions or circumstances and I could think of hundreds more, given the time. I do hold the potential for a step in the direction of a solution. That potential begins with me. Others will answer for themselves (or not) but I must contemplate where I am being called to act in love toward others as I also would need them to act on my behalf. Whether Parkinson’s disease, heart arrhythmia, or a person just needing to feel heard and understood, there are others who yearn to know they would be worth the giving of time, expertise, or understanding. It appears that gratitude is the harvest that the seed of pondering has rendered during a time of doubt and fear.
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