family
Passing showers had dampened our way and tightly congested roadways had made the journey from the mountaintop to the rolling hills of Connecticut a tedious challenge. The patio and pool deck were abuzz with hugs, greetings and laughter as family and friends had gathered to celebrate family and commemorate the life of nephew Joey and support the foundation his father had founded in his memory that gives financial support to folks living with the challenges of cancer. Family from age one to 92 hovered securely beneath the canopies as the rain came down in virtual torrents. The joy of being together again in one place superseded any complaints about the weather as folks gathered closer to hear the challenges and victories experienced over the past year. As the sun shone brightly warming the freshly mowed greens at the golf club, the rain from the previous evening was but a faint memory overshadowed by the joy of family fun together. Hundreds of folks had gathered to support the foundation and honor the memory of Joey. The storms had passed and bright sunshine exposed nature’s bounty as the golf tournament was played, raffle tickets were sold, and food was shared with still more friends and relatives. The banquet that evening, though sumptuous, was incidental to the thrill of seeing the grant funds being given to those who needed the support that the memory of Joey had funded and to witness the grace and poise with which his dad both gave and received recognition for acts of love well executed. The joy of that day and the testimony of love and thankfulness for the value of life even in the presence of life threatening challenges allowed gratitude its ascent far above the aches and stiffness that accompany the unseemly diagnosis named Parkinson’s.
The faux fireplace spouts infrared heat from its front panel as a heavy mist of rain appears as fog over the early morning landscape. Gracie, the Golden lies peacefully under the edge of the recliner in which this Parkinson’s participant sits and reflects on the full pace of the last few days. Two runs for food and supplies for a family reunion and participation in a church/community program that delivers food for the weekend to children in need filled the Friday before the event anticipated for months. We arrived at the “fellowship hall” of the church and began the process of setting up the computer and projector as well as the “self serve” line of food for the crowd expected any moment. Delight filled our hearts as distant relatives of my paternal grandmother began to arrive. For some, it had been years since I had seen them. For others, it was an opportunity to meet family of which I was only faintly aware. Gratitude welled up in my heart as I found opportunities to share time and hear memories from two beautiful “matriarchs” who were blessed with years of 90 and beyond and hearts filled with delight to be sharing then with family. We shared pictures in a slide show created from old photographs from the late 1930s through the early 1950s. Genealogical charts and home picture albums were perused after sharing our meal and the afternoon was packed with stories of days gone by. As we packed away the remaining food for use in the next day’s community fellowship program, we were filled with gratitude and love for the connection to family and the collection of memories that will sustain us until the next time together. The richness of lives can never be encapsulated into a few moments, but a few moments sharing their wealth of experience are among the riches that contribute to the legacy of love!
The church was bustling with family and friends greeting one another in anticipation of the wedding for which everyone had arrived midst the passing shower. Two delightful days had been spent with Ray’s brother and his wife in central Connecticut and we now were focusing on the union of their cousin’s daughter with a “fine British chap” she had met in college. Beside me was Aunt Sarah, the reigning matriarch of the family clan. We had visited with her Just the day before in the retirement community in which she lives unassisted and independent at a stunning ninety three years of age. Spry and quick witted, this avid reader and former nurse exudes warmth and caring as she surveys the plethora of relatives gathered for this nuptial celebration. Soon the ceremony concluded its intended purpose and the newlyweds were off for photographs and preparation for the giant reception about to unfold at the lake in northwestern Connecticut. Hugs, kisses, and giant handshakes were exchanged with multiples of near and distant relatives as the musical dinner celebration began. The stiffness of PD tried to take over, but dogged determination fought it at every turn. As I looked at the then bustling dance floor, there was Aunt Sarah, hand raised and reaching for the sky as she moved to the rhythm of the beat. As I witnessed her celebration of life and love I gave thanks for sharing these moments with those lovely people and for the joy that life has to offer. Looking past age and physical challenges, one may find the substance upon which a rich life is lived – LOVE. The newlyweds were beginning their celebration of love in a grand form and we were grateful that they shared it so beautifully with so many!
Silence is broken by the rhythmic whirl of the ceiling fan as it helps to keep the air stirring in the old farm house. The pup, having delivered her gift to the grassy meadow, lies curled beneath the coffee table as she visits her morning nap. Here in the confines of my childhood dwelling with scores of lifelong relics denoting adventures and experiences building and growing family and relationship, I reflect upon the wonders and joys that have filled our lives. Feelings of grief have invaded recently prompting tearful and emotional moments that seem to come out of the blue. Clinically, depletion of dopamine in the brain can prompt and or exacerbate what would otherwise be normal responses to life changes. Past reactions would have been to “suck it up” and move on to just “get over it” and “chalk it up” as a part of life. A conscious decision to “let it happen” has been so very freeing. The recent TV news report of children from Syria now working as field hands in Lebanon ignited a flood gate of tearful emotions. A sort of purge springs forth in response to injustice, to loss, or to tragedy. A similar experience was had after the initial diagnosis of PD some years ago. The stages of grief have been real and the emotional healing after these stages has been real as well. Today, in the quiet of this moment, I reflect with gratitude and joy upon the experiences and relationships that this explorer calls life. Thankfulness is the cup from which this wanderer quenches his thirst. The cup over flows today!
Hills, valleys, mountains, and tunnels were all behind us as we arrived at my cousin’s home in West Virginia. The sun was setting as we toured the garden and the newly completed art studio and woodworking shop behind their house on the east end of Charleston. We soon gathered folding chairs and headed to the riverfront to take in the music along the shore facing the University of Charleston. The starry night accentuated the dome of the capitol as the five of us sat taking in the music, the cool evening breeze, and the stories of family and past experiences. As we collected our seats and returned them to the back of the van I was struck by the wonder of God’s blessing to be sharing such a lovely time with family. Although many years had passed since we had really spent any prolonged time together the ease and warmth of our conversations seemed to melt those years as if they were yesterday. With anticipation of more joyful communion and festival activities to come, we retired for the evening with thankful hearts for renewed connections. Prayers of gratitude soothed this boomer to a restful night’s sleep.
The glare of the bright morning sun streams through the kitchen window illuminating all in its path. A brightness not experienced other times of the year is shown in the kitchen space as summer is nearly upon us. As I gaze at the space occupied as the kitchen I recall the original room as it was before its transitional evolution to today’s design. The old wood cook stove sat in the corner of the room with suitably chopped wood in the bucket nearby. Near the entrance close to the hallway and back door was the old ice box. The ice man would deliver ice twice each week and that unit maintained refrigeration for a family of four. The old kitchen sink sat in the corner and was used sparingly as water was stored in the tank behind the house. Dad would crank the old gas engine pump near the spring to renew the supply of water each day. The power company had refused to extend power lines to the three houses on our farm because there were not enough homes in our area to economically justify the lines. Memories of those early years as a toddler on the farm were brought to mind as the modern kitchen of today was brightly displayed in the morning sun. I don’t recall a single instance of either parent complaining about their lack of power or need to take so many extra steps to prepare a meal. Instead, I recall how thankful they were for what they had and the blessing of a home and family. A house is but a structure that contains some functional elements for occupants. A grateful family enjoying the space together makes that space a home. May your heart find a place of gratitude that creates the place called home!
The deck was filled with chatter and laughter as stories of years past were bantered in the collective memory. Five of the original fifteen first cousins (from my father’s side of the family), direct descendants of eight out of ten twentieth century siblings were gathered for the first communal meal in almost forty years. As the time together unfolded and we looked at those occupying the deck, recollections of parents long deceased began to emerge. The resemblance of children to parents and or uncles and aunts became evident in ways not noticed in our younger years. As revelations of children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren emerged we all shared the awe that was making its collective strike upon the group. The children that once had played with one another in carefree abandon were now grandparents filling in the blanks of those years since. Hearts were filled with gratitude that Saturday in April as all were able to reconnect and recollect the joys of lives today and fond memories of times gone by. Enthusiastically we all agreed to meet again soon with extended families of all the cousins. Thankfulness is the fuel that ignites the flame of memory bringing healing joy in today.
By: Cathy Garrott
Music has always been a part of my life. My earliest memories of family gatherings include everyone gathering to sing together at some point before we headed home. We would beg my Dad’s oldest sister to play “just one more” song before we had to go. She played in what we now call “Southern Gospel” style, hitting every key on the keyboard as she blended the notes together in mesmerizing beauty. My Mom’s oldest sister played the piano for her church … stately, high church music … which instilled in me a love for more classical types of music as well. I loved hearing high school bands, as well as professional orchestras, blending their instruments together to make the music come alive as they played.
To me, music has always meant “family.” We could quickly put aside any disagreements and find unity in making a melody from our differences (soprano, alto, tenor, bass, etc.) … ending our visits on a very happy note. 🙂 God has used this lesson from music to help me see that in life there are many different parts, but if put together in the right way we can, indeed, make beautiful music together. Now I am a member of the PD family … and I’m finding out how one person’s experience can help someone else get through another trial, another day, another valley. As we share what we learn from our own experiences, we build a stronger sense of family … where we can be different, but perhaps we can bring some harmony into the lives of those around us as we put our voices together.
I want to share this song with you – it has really blessed and encouraged me. The video and the sound are not matched up well in this rendition of it, but I love the spirit of the song in this … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3UndvbYqJs
The scratching noise roused me from my cherished slumber as I began to recall that my son’s ferrets were up and at the food in their dish. It is our last full day in Florida this winter and we reflect on how blessed we are to have seen and shared moments with so many friends and family members. A tighter waist band gives evidence to the delightful meals shared with others. Tomorrow brings a day of travel and reorientation to life back at the farm. A routine that reduces the expanded waistline and restores movement and flexibility to pre-vacation states is part of the intention. Gratitude is filling our cup today as we reflect on the blessing of family and friends both near and far. Thankfulness will be the fuel that supercharges our journey back to seeing winter’s close and spring’s new beginning!
Traffic congestion, tailgaters, lollygaggers and lane closures were among the host of those on the welcome mat in South Florida. Once registered at the timeshare, the first visit to the apartment proved to be an ordeal never before experienced. The electronic door lock was dead and secure in the locked position. A quick visit from the maintenance crew brought forth wedges, screwdrivers and other instruments of unknown utility. Thirty minutes later the door was forced open and luggage was placed inside. Informed that the battery was dead and must be replaced, we settled in for what was to be a lengthy ordeal. Two hours later we were off to visit the kids and enjoy a family fun filled meal and time of loving hugs and conversation. Soon our initial visit with family was concluded and a supermarket stop saw the first day of vacation drawing to an end. Among the value of experience is the knowledge that everything does not go precisely as envisioned. PD crept in and blocked the swift and efficient movement that was expected as a God given freedom as time went by. The prescription maintenance crew has to be called from time to time to force entry into flexibility. Though the plan is temporarily interrupted, there is still joy to be had when all the members come together as purposed. Gratitude fills to void between revelation and expectation. Thankfulness will be the key that unlocks the door to tomorrow’s wonders.