Just days away from the arrival of her first litter, Miss Gracie, the Golden Retriever, is doing far more snoring than retrieving. Burdened with a load of pups soon to worm their way to the daylight she is almost mournfully lethargic. The once ambitious discoverer of all things interesting in the yard and fields is now quite satisfied to find a place suitable for depositing her business so she can return to her place of repine in the cool air conditioned space of the old farm house. Her desire to be close seems to have intensified, but our times of “lap petting” have diminished because of her discomfort and weight. We now spend time massaging her ever widening belly and rubbing her head and neck. Nature will soon take its course and the pups will begin their descent through the birth canal to be welcomed by jubilant hosts and a somewhat relieved mother. We will give thanks one by one and encourage Gracie as she engages her motherly instincts at whelping. Although our knowledge of science has increased with greater understanding of the union of gametes to begin the process that leads to gestation we are still in awe of the way in which each of us are uniquely (and even Divinely) designed. Today we linger a little longer at the place of thanks as we lift our minds in gratitude to the place of our beginnings.
Overcast, but far from gloomy, the verdant green of the fields and forest illuminate the landscape. Squirrels scurry about foraging for nourishment as red tailed hawks glide by with a watchful eye. The chickens pick their way through the pasture adjacent to the stable securing worms and larvae working their way to the drier spots in the otherwise saturated soil. A doe and her fawn scurry back into the cover of the underbrush that encroaches on the field as soon as they detect the human presence, even from afar. Further down the farm lane six wild turkeys prance and scratch their way through the brush seeking their ongoing feast. In the light of the clouded morning the wonder and beauty of nature springs forth and delivers us to a place of awe and wonder. There is joy in the sights to be seen and we are inspired by the opportunity to witness the magnificence of nature’s expression. Gratitude to the creator wells up in our heart and mind as we ponder and give thanks for today’s experience. A grateful heart is the icing that sweetens today’s slice of eternity!
As the eve of summer approaches the swings in temperature seem to slow their pace. From cool crisp evenings to hot and sultry days we are moving to swings of hot and sultry to “not as hot” evenings. Eager for rain fall, the fields begin to display more and more brown. At this time last year we were inundated with rain to the degree that it was hard to keep up with all the growth stimulated by the moisture. Even without the abundance of rain, the grass in the garden beds seems to be enjoying and extra boost in nutrients as it spreads fruitfully to choke out the desired strawberry or cucumber. A little extra time and care is required, but we are thankful that an overabundance of rain has not nurtured the pesky invader further along. With a thankful heart and a tight gripping hand we attack the invader with enthusiasm. Sometimes there are swings in the Parkinson’s experience as well. Seemingly out of nowhere, stiffness will appear prompting resistance in a movement that for nearly a lifetime has been taken for granted. That quick flex of an ankle or foot that prompted an easy turn in direction in times past freezes into an almost locked position, defying the brain’s intention. It’s as though the body is ignoring the brain’s direction as it retorts “you talking to me?” We try replenishing the source of the dopamine that increasingly diminishes deep within the brain and thankfully it is successful most of the time. Exercise, resistant as this body has become to it, adds another element to the store of flexibility from which agility may make its purchase. Gratitude adds fuel for the journey as we amass resources that restore, maintain, and even nurture physical flexibility and agility, one day at a time.
The cool morning air presents a grand opportunity to address the budding new grass that rampantly insinuates itself in the garden beds. Recollecting the addition of grass cuttings last fall to the compost heap now strikes one as an unwise choice. Apparently, enough seed and root segments survived the heat of the composting to become the genesis of new life in the planting beds. Challenged by the mistake and armed with new knowledge, we slowly and steadily attack the sprouting grass with an extracting tug. Whatever the cause, the work now is to diminish the unwanted vegetation giving room for the desired and intended garden selections. Parkinson’s disease seems to insinuate itself in the area intended for living and appears to desire obstruction by its very presence. We’ve determined what its cause is not and have speculations as to what is its cause, but neither help with the problem of its ever present challenges to what has been assumed as normal routine. Just as the planting beds require a steady “weeding” so this dopamine challenged body needs a steady routine of “weeding” out of stiffness and resistance by maintaining some semblance of exercise and flexible activity. Sometimes the challenges are great and sometimes they are less, but always they remind this participant of the gratitude that fuels the engine of perseverance. The weeding, ever so slow, stands as a reminder that obstacles are removed or diminished one tug at a time.
A foggy mist hovered the ground as dawn’s first light peeked from the horizon. As cooler air stirs across the landscape the crispness of the new day offers a welcomed reprieve from the unseasonable temperatures of the past week. Sunlight and warmth have combined to give the broccoli and asparagus daily regeneration as they are collected for the weekly stir fry. Even Gracie the Golden Retriever frolics with abandon across the field, stopping only to inspect the remnants of the passing deer from the night before. Gratitude wells up within as we survey the blessings of life on the farm. Although challenges abound not only to stay ahead of the grass in the garden, but also to stay ahead of the stiffness that would rob us of freedom of movement, we tackle each with the power of thankfulness that we have another day of opportunity. Parkinson’s disease is challenging and by the grace granted us we rise to the challenge with a heart full of gratitude and mind of determination to live each day to the fullest! “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
In that twilight moment between dreams and conscious awareness of one’s surroundings a movement or sound can jolt one into a state far from sleep. Suddenly dreams have been supplanted by obsessive thoughts of things about which nothing can be done at the moment. Intent to “take control” of these obsessive thoughts renders one totally out of control as more of the impossible floods the consciousness. There seemed to be three choices that could be engaged: Continue the battle for control and flop from side to side seeking comfort between the sheets; secondly, one could seek to surrender thoughts in prayer noting no need to be in control and relax in the comfort that may come from that; or lastly, get up and change the environment all together. Having pursued the first two with vigor, this semi-weary soul chose to rise from the confines of the sheets and the accompanying obsessive thoughts and engage in minor chores as the morning dose of dopamine supplement took hold. In a place now where impossible tasks no longer weigh on consciousness, we are better positioned to give thanks for restful restoration that was accomplished and the dismantling of the weight of obsessive thoughts. As the sun now rises through the mist of earth’s emission, we rest with gratitude as we anticipate an early nap. Thankfully, control is not mine to master!
Bright sun glistening through the trees illuminates the view to the outside this morning. A vivid reminder of the wonder of life bursts through to the inside this day. Soon we will meet with a few friends and relatives to entomb the ashes of a dear cousin. The gathering will be a celebration of the memories of this dear soul whose presence at times was bigger than one could imagine life being. Her experiences were expansive and her adventures even greater because of the insatiable hunger for reading she possessed. Her relationship with books and the information and vicarious experiences contained therein was superseded only by her love of friends and family. Burdened with multiple losses throughout her life she seemed to always seek a place of gratitude wherein she could relax as she surveyed the world around her. Today, we dedicate but a fraction of our time to the recollection and praise of one whose life touched ours with great meaning. Today we do not say goodbye for there is no need to say goodbye to one who inspires such great memories that live long in our hearts. Today we say “THANK YOU” for living out your dreams and sharing so much of yourself with others! Our cup of gratitude is overflowing!
Uninspired by the bright sunny day and the lure of the open fields in which she normally frolics, Gracie the Golden sleeps soundly in front of the sofa. Even her usual eagerness to be at the door waiting for my encouragement was absent this morning as I had to wake her for her “get ‘er done” run. The usual eager return to consume her morning bowl of food was abandoned in favor of a nap as though her stroll to the front yard was exhaustingly trying. Her desire to be close has not waned, but her energy seems to have temporarily diminished. Her metabolic response to being pregnant with little Golden embryos is apparent. There are just thirty three more days before we may expect the birth of a slew of precious puppies to welcome the arrival of summer. If they take after their mother or father they will be pretty pups indeed. Meanwhile, we gratefully nurture one who is far more than a pet; one who is a member of the family!
Filled with blossoms and buds the forest touts its regeneration with shades of green and yellow. Cool overcast skies surrender its burdensome water as droplets of rain descend indiscriminately on all that lies below. Some of the rendering penetrates the thirsty soil while some joins the fluid of the running stream. Still other droplets target waiting leaves to be absorbed or to be evaporated into the already moist air that will condense it yet again at another time. The cycle of life sustaining moisture seems healthy in the Piedmont this year and if continued promises a healthy garden this season. Movement relies upon a sufficient supply of a nerve transmitter known as dopamine. That transmitter is produced deep in the brain by what is known as pyramidal cells. Dopamine that is not used up circulates freely to be consumed as needed for smooth and seamless movement. When the pyramidal cells begin to die off, as in Parkinson’s, less and less dopamine is available for consumption during normal activity. Stiffness and a “resting” tremor begin to occur as healthy dopamine levels are depleted. Sometimes a shuffling walk and or uncontrollable movements give evidence of transmitter depletion. Fortunately, there are some substitutes for dopamine that can be taken orally that help to satiate the body’s cry for the seeming life-giving dopamine. Just as water from the well through the strategically placed sprinkler system mimics the spray of rain in nature’s cycle, the ingestion of neural transmitter facilitators refreshes what has been depleted in nature’s supply. Taken with a full dose of gratitude, the substitute facilitator reaches its true potential in a thankful recipient. Rain is nature’s preference, but a hearty dose from the sprinkler system facilitates a bountiful crop as well.
A chill in the spring air engulfs exposed skin even in the light of the morning sun. The call of the wild turkey supersedes the dawning chirps of other nesting birds. The goats and hens are out foraging through the pasture land each seeking to consume what is in their own taste. The deep orange yokes offered up in the laying nests give evidence of the richness of the chicken’s diet. Garden plantings appear to be thriving in the compost mixed soil from last fall’s renderings. The cycle of life once again manifests itself in the glow of the morning here on the farm. Even Gracie, the Golden, has connected with her mate to produce a precious litter of Golden pups by mid June. Grateful for the evidence of life and its renewal, we offer thanks to the Creator in whose hands we seek to see more clearly the ultimate new creation. Although affected by Parkinson’s disease and what now appears as intermittent atrial fibrillation, we are defined by neither. Choices now abound regarding treatment that are intended to render one less affected and more freed to pursue the expressions of the who we are in the image of Who we are made. We choose now to view treatments not as burdens but as opportunities to live out the wonder and purpose for which we were created.
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