symptoms
The skies are overcast with a thick layer of clouds and the leaves rustle gently now with each passing breeze. Prognosticators assert that a late summer “cold front” is passing north to south as a now category one hurricane is moving its way across north Florida in a track directly over the Carolina coasts. The southern moving front will collide with the northern moving storm and help steer it out to sea hopefully before it wreaks its full potential for damage over the inhabited landscape. This unwilling but accustomed possessor of Parkinson’s symptoms is moving in a calculated fashion, not wanting to inflame a lumbar region well noted for its raging objection to bouts of stress. The overcast sky reminds one of the need for a reprieve from glaring and piercing sunshine that can bake the clay and scorch the landscape. Life exists in either condition but thrives in a moderation of both. The giant Southern Pecan tree standing majestically in the yard gives evidence to the habitat of both sun and shade. The south side, receiving the brightest and more intense sunlight bears dry and brittle bark. The north side, being exposed to very little direct sunlight renders a habitat inundated with a bright green crop of moss that has thrived during this summer of frequent rain. Neither the dry bark nor the moss covered bark is significantly better than the other. They both inhabit the same tree that thrives to produce, some years, a bounty of its fruit. Like the tree, this possessor of PD seeks a balance from the extremes of his symptoms so as to flourish in the fruit of thanksgiving that is nourished by gratitude.
Another day of scorching temperatures brought the steamy and tepid air to a place of constant discomfort as we navigated the out of doors from one errand to another. Bending over rendered the lumbar region seemingly raw and excruciatingly painful as puppy dishes were placed and then removed after contents were devoured. Concentration on working through the agony was eventually interrupted while sitting for choir rehearsal as the lumbar tension became tighter and the pain sharper with every breath. Acetaminophen and a welcomed night’s rest delivered this possessor of Parkinson’s symptoms to an achy, but rested morning filled with pre-planned activities. A visit with a dear friend in his welcoming outdoor garden preceded a luncheon with a recently discovered distant relative. Searching a printed genealogical chart provided by yet another cousin afforded us the opportunity to identify the connection to distant relatives from the early eighteen hundreds. Thankfulness permeated our sharing as we each told of our distant and recent journeys with family and friends. The discomfort of spinal tension was eased in the presence of gratitude for moments shared with friends and family alike. The gratitude expanded as the pain diminished ever so steadily as the day progressed. A thankful heart now supersedes any remaining discomfort as this day unfolds its blessings!
Heat and humidity engulfed the space around us as overcast skies brought a reprieve from the otherwise penetrating August sun. The man gasped for air as he explained his need for assistance moving some final objects from an apartment to a house on the north side of town. This possessor of Parkinson’s symptoms steadied himself as he listened to the desires of the man with what appeared to be chronic bronchitis standing before him. Being a moving shuttle had not been on the agenda for today, but opportunities to serve and show the grace that has been given me had been among my prayers even this morning. The man in need is a regular attendee at the “breakfast club” on Sunday mornings at the church and faithfully attends worship services as well. My view from the choir loft gives access to every face even in the absence of identified name. As I took great care descending some rather irregular and steep front steps while carrying a small table to the truck I silently wished for a breeze to help stir the humid air engulfing my face and forehead. Soon we had the few pieces that needed to be transported securely in the truck bed as we sped along our way up North Main to the man’s newly rented home. In the cool of the air conditioned truck the man told me a bit about his past and I was thankful for the opportunity to learn a bit more about the gentleman who saw my truck as a means to satisfy his need to be relocated by tomorrow. Time, place, and willingness to be helpful had provided the means by which blessings could be shared in unique and unexpected ways. We were both blessed by this morning’s encounter and grateful that the time and willingness had coalesced.
The condensation on the windows and glass doors obscures the view of the bright morning sun. A balm of humidity engulfs one as steps are taken from inside the well modulated air conditioned house onto the otherwise inviting porch. What appears to be inviting from inside proves to be nearly unbearable when the invitation is accepted as globs of humid and hot air consume the space around. Fleeting memories of childhood days and summers at the old farmhouse where the air was conditioned only in the shade of the open windows and endured in the absence of pants, shirt, and shoes come rushing by. The “free-range” chickens are already busy clawing and pecking in the newly spread mulch around the giant maple trees as the attentive and tired mother of pups takes her leave in the distant meadow. Just these few minutes rocking in the porch swing midst the steamy summer air starts to elicit a glisten of uncomfortable compensation for a body exposed to the reality of summer. Grateful that the mechanically cooled house afforded a comfortable and relatively uninterrupted sleep, the yawning grandpa, calls for the return of the mother Golden to her cool station with her healthy litter. PD symptoms subdued in the presence of much needed rest, this grateful heart returns to his coffee and pursuit of another day whose agenda though planned will unfold even if and as challenges arise. Thankfulness is the substance upon which today’s pathway is built.
The train whistle blows in the distance as the sound of far off traffic penetrates the stillness of the space around me. My daughter’s dog snores rhythmically as she has perched herself securely in the middle of the would-be sofa. With granddaughter still sleeping off her late night television extravaganza this grandpa, who willfully addresses the management of invasive Parkinson’s symptoms, takes in the stillness of this morning before a major change. The tragedy in Orlando the weekend before and the televised and published bickering and adamant fault finding lingers heavy in the background. Tomorrow begins the journey of moving loved ones from South Florida to North Carolina. The journey promises to be long and perhaps tedious at times as I will be one of those driving the truck along that journey. We have attempted to embrace as many plans and preparations as the mind could fathom for this trip and thankfulness is becoming the companion that is soothing the otherwise anxious anticipation of any unexpected challenges. With the end of the journey in mind and all parties safely seeking their respective destination goals, we are discovering the power of gratitude as we navigate each route.
Nestled in the quiet of the morning and the stillness of the moment, thoughts of times past seem to have landed midst the field of today’s agenda. Currently relieved of the physical restraints brought on by hosting the residence crasher called Parkinson’s, reflections of times past flood the cauldron of memories. A place, an event, children, distant family, and friends each prompt thoughts of experiences past. Feelings of peace, joy, love, enjoyment and contentment fill the space between now and then so fondly called memory. It is the associated emotion or feeling that seems to give the memory its boost. An event without an associated meaning would be as lost as light in a black hole or music not heard in a sound proof room. As thoughts of gratitude for the opportunities of memories emerge, a foundation of thankfulness underpins the hope upon which we stand as we peer into the events of today and what is to come. With gratitude as a companion and thankfulness as our foundation, we leap into the adventures of today from which the memories of tomorrow will be crafted. May your companion be nurtured and your walkway be solid!
In the old Tarzan films you see the poorly verbalized but nevertheless wise hero thrust himself from one steady position to the promise of another by means of a non-tethered but sturdy vine. Conveniently, the vine seems waiting to become the host for the journey to a new destination either away from the dangers that seem to invade the old or toward one that surely guarantees yet another intriguing adventure. The reasonable props for the execution of the dramatic move must be a hefty element of trust in the reasonable safety and security of the vine along the journey and faith that the destination location will sustain the weight of the landing. Leaving the old and arriving at the precipice of the new has within it elements of excitement, fear, revelation, and grief. As the host to (unwilling or not) the dwelling of various Parkinson’s symptoms, this not so agile (hero?) one grasps the vine with all his strength for the journey to a new adventure. The location is still the forest, but the vista is changing as the light of an adjusted pathway is illuminated. Gratitude remains the cover that blankets the footing from the old to the new and a thankful heart beats to the call of discovery.
The church was bustling with family and friends greeting one another in anticipation of the wedding for which everyone had arrived midst the passing shower. Two delightful days had been spent with Ray’s brother and his wife in central Connecticut and we now were focusing on the union of their cousin’s daughter with a “fine British chap” she had met in college. Beside me was Aunt Sarah, the reigning matriarch of the family clan. We had visited with her Just the day before in the retirement community in which she lives unassisted and independent at a stunning ninety three years of age. Spry and quick witted, this avid reader and former nurse exudes warmth and caring as she surveys the plethora of relatives gathered for this nuptial celebration. Soon the ceremony concluded its intended purpose and the newlyweds were off for photographs and preparation for the giant reception about to unfold at the lake in northwestern Connecticut. Hugs, kisses, and giant handshakes were exchanged with multiples of near and distant relatives as the musical dinner celebration began. The stiffness of PD tried to take over, but dogged determination fought it at every turn. As I looked at the then bustling dance floor, there was Aunt Sarah, hand raised and reaching for the sky as she moved to the rhythm of the beat. As I witnessed her celebration of life and love I gave thanks for sharing these moments with those lovely people and for the joy that life has to offer. Looking past age and physical challenges, one may find the substance upon which a rich life is lived – LOVE. The newlyweds were beginning their celebration of love in a grand form and we were grateful that they shared it so beautifully with so many!
White patches dot the landscape as remnants of the last snow storm remind us that winter is not yet over. Fog permeates the field of vision as cold snow and earth collide with warmer moist air moving through our region. Predictions of spring like temperatures squeezing out rain are followed with those of sub-freezing climes for the following week. As nature behaves as is her way we attempt to keep the small environment in which we live steady in our preferred way. We cannot bring on summer in the outside environment, but with the help of petroleum and dried wood we can create a comfortable space in which the ravages of winter are not present. As PD symptoms begin to ratchet their winter like presence, intensifying pain, stiffness, and tremor, we know that we cannot as yet eliminate the cause. We have made friends with this physiological season in which we live, but we also strive to create an environment in which those “seasonal” challenges do not become the rule. Gratefully, medication and exercise provide the fuel that helps to moderate the environment making the “living” space more inviting. Maintaining a mind embraced with thankfulness enables it to look beyond the symptoms of constraint into the field of hope that is a new season. May the season in which you reside be one that brings hope embraced in the arms of gratitude.
Emerging from the rear entrance of the Cajun restaurant in which we enjoyed a delightful meal, the rain began to pummel as we darted to the car. Navigating a strange and “uniquely” arranged parking lot in the midst of a torrential downpour proved to be a daunting task. After multiples of turns we were once again on the road to the farm. Just before the traffic light signaled its green glow for our direction, a massive truck hauling an eight foot diameter twenty foot long conduit turned onto the road in front of us. Added to nature’s downpour was the massive mist and back-splash of the enormous cargo in front of us. As we traveled ever so cautiously in a northerly direction to the farm the clouds began to clear and we could see ahead the glow of the full sun calling us into brighter light. As the traffic permitted we gracefully passed the impeding cargo as we joyfully traveled through the beautiful landscape now illuminated and glistening in the light of the late afternoon sun. There are times when PD symptoms seem to make their way into my path to impede my journey. Impatience with them serves little purpose, but recognizing that there are glimmers of light on the other side of those impediments gives purpose to enduring them for a while until the opportunity arises to leave them in their own mist. Experience has taught me that each day is a journey and that the One who holds the future is the loving guide to the destination.