gratitude
The ache was becoming more and more intense. Turning from side to side and then on the back offered only momentary relief. It seemed useless to stay in bed any longer since the pain in the lumbar was not relenting and no place was offering a respite. This experience seems to be arising as the norm. Thoughts run rampantly to a place that questions what I might have done that caused this now common occurrence. PD, age, a lumbar cyst or any other number of things may be behind the throb, but nothing that I can recall doing shows me a direct link. In the Gospel of John, chapter 9, the disciples ask Jesus as they happen by a blind man Jesus will soon heal whether the man or his parents have sinned, causing the blindness. Jesus surprised them with His response; “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” Gratitude fills my heart that opportunities exist to emerge from the bed and “walk off” the discomfort. Thankfulness that grace is sufficient to free me from the throws of self-deceptive belief (and action) that I can always have it my way permeates my thoughts. The pain may not completely go away but the burden of self-reliance and determination, when surrendered, leads to a “heart” healing that is the victory. Gratitude outweighs the pain and lifts the heart to a higher place when touching that place of surrender!
The clock showed the time as 5:11am. Searching my mind for the last thing I remembered before dozing off I calculated a decent five and a half hours sleep. Although I desired to go back to sleep my mind was wide awake with the early chores of the day already planned out. Even Gracie, the Golden, was still curled neatly on her bed when I slid on my fuzzy slippers and made my way out from the bedroom. The daily dose of thyroid booster ingested, the world of chores began to open up. As I collected wood, stoked the fire in the old stove, walked the dog, and put on some eggs to boil, I was suddenly struck by the recollection that the day was Thanksgiving. The morning had already been underpinned with my thoughts of thankfulness for family, for friends, for supply of needs, but most importantly, for relationship with the Creator. Although life has not been the “bowl of cherries” I may have desired as a child, neither has it been a disaster that I may have feared. Through the years, joy, sorrow, challenge, disappointment, pain, excitement, and peace (among others) has each been underpinned with gratitude for that relationship that sustains now and forever – the relationship with God. Although Thanksgiving is a designated day in the United States, thanksgiving is more than a holiday; it is a way of life
Lounging comfortably near the radiating wood stove and reading the day’s early morning devotional, there arose a persistent “thump, thump” coming from the kitchen. Its sound was familiar to the ones heard randomly during the previous week. A quick observation confirmed the thumping source. An Eastern Mockingbird had lingered too long at the poke berry vines bearing its intoxicating fruit and was now drunkenly insisting upon entering the kitchen through the double paned window. Further evidence of the bird’s indulgence was found in the splattered purple renderings on the window screen. Nothing seems to deter this bird from her drunken quest. Time will facilitate her metabolism and the eventual reduction in her drunken delirium. Absent the drunken delirium, often pesky PD symptoms arrive at the “window” of perception insisting upon entering for an extended visit. The “double pane” window of medication and exercise reject the sometimes persistent intrusion leaving only a reminder that without the protection, the drunken bird of symptoms would come to roost. Grateful for the opportunity to fend off the intruder, this recipient of grace lifts prayers of thankfulness!
Wind whips quickly from the northwest bringing with it bone chilling change from cold to colder. The full leafed pecan tree standing stately in the sun lit terrain suddenly gives up its leaves to the blowing flow and then stands barren and exposed. Summer is far behind us now and soon autumn will give way to a full fledged winter. Change is omnipresent and at times such as these makes itself known to a greater degree than others. Experience tells us that these days too will give way to others and the rebirth of springtime will emerge with welcomed chirps and warmer winds. Change is an intimate part of life. Some see it as an enemy where others see it as a friend. Peace comes in its embrace within the arms of gratitude for within that embrace awaits the richness of the Creator. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Heat radiates from the old cast iron stove and fills the room with its welcoming warmth. The old pot nearly full of water simmers gently as it gives up its moist rendering in the otherwise dry air. Gracie the Golden Retriever sleeps gently by my chair soaking up the warmth on a winter like fall day. Free of pain and agony that left as abruptly as it came three days ago, I reflect with gratitude upon the gift that is another day. Armed with an agenda of tasks and errands, we make our plans to accomplish all in the light of a thankful heart. “This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
Visitors are virtually always welcome at our humble abode. However, there has been a visitor attached to the Parkinson’s invader whose name is Pain. This visitor is not at all welcome and this unintentional host does everything he knows to avoid this annoying pest. Exercise helps stave off some of his visits, but often he arrives in the middle of a restful repose as though to shout: “hey buddy, I’m here!” A couple of years ago a benign spinal lumbar cyst was discovered and until recently, it appeared to be causing little problems. For several days now it is suspect in the appearance of sharp and piercing pains on the left side. The “stabs” are sometimes frequent and at other times a low throb diminishing to just a tightness. Anti-inflammatory medications are helpful, but fraught with their own insidious side effects, so this host chooses to use them judiciously. Sharing the thoughts of these invasive moments is not intended to draw sympathy, but rather to honestly give testimony to struggles for which there are often frankly no immediate solutions. My common response to pain is anger. Irrational though that response may be it often is the genesis of motivation to not be overtaken by the invader. A mighty partner in this journey is gratitude which serves as a comforting shroud. Wrapped within its satiating folds this host finds peace and the fuel of thankfulness that the discomfort of the invader is not greater than the Grantor of grace who calls us to look His way. Grace is a place where gratitude and thankfulness live without distraction. Admission is free; living there requires surrender.
Bright in the western sky the full moon illuminates the landscape with its white glow. Simultaneously, the sun gives of a faint orange hue as it begins its emergence over the hills to the east. All seems still and quiet on this frost laden day at the farm. A lone mockingbird sounds her alarm as freshly split wood is gathered for the old cast iron stove giving warmth to the sitting room. Miss Gracie, the golden lies regally facing this grateful soul as I attempt to capture these moments in words. As the heat permeates the room and light begins its ascent this day is filled with awe at the beauty of the Master’s hand. His creation inspires and ignites the waking heart to a place of thankfulness for the opportunity that waits to be uncovered. Here, in the still and engulfing presence of a grace filled God another day of discovering the depth of that grace and love unfolds. Gratitude abounds as we give thanks for the feast that is life in the presence of the Master Crafter.
The bright orange glow just above the treetops in the eastern horizon gave evidence to the rising sun. Warm water gave up its steamy mist in the presence of freezing air over the pond. Grass and leaves sparkled in the light of the season’s first frost. Just two days after reverting clocks back to their standard time, the hint of winter has made its mark. Life shows its seasons in nature and in experience. As a child I dreaded the change from summer to fall, then winter. Now I am thankful for having the opportunity of living in the presence of another season where gratitude may blossom. The fullness of life is not diminished by physical impediments when experienced in the face of grace infusing each moment. As this mortal contemplates the beauty of his surroundings he is filled with the inspiration that comes only in the presence of his creator whose connection to and within each moment brings peace. May your day be filled with gratitude in the light of the Master’s grace!
We heard a car pulling into the gravel driveway. I went to the door to greet the first guests to arrive. Approaching the door was my former college roommate and his wife. Although we had met for a brief time to partially catch up some six months before, the memories of college life some forty five years before came rushing back. We were settling down for warm conversation and a brief recap of our Mediterranean and Aegean cruise and their excitement over an upcoming Panama Canal cruise they had planned when the second car arrived. Before me was another college dorm mate who had been a dear friend during those years long ago. He and his girlfriend settled into the warmth of the old farmhouse and we all chatted about times past and fond memories that seemed to flood our minds as though they were yesterday. Over our sumptuous lunch so lovingly made we each gave a brief account of careers and adventures since our graduation in 1968. Much had transpired and interestingly each man’s career had centered on one form or another of teaching and facilitating learning. The time together seemed to pass so quickly as each bid their farewell to homes two hours away. As I returned to the warmth of the farmhouse after wishing each safe travel back to their respective homes, I was filled with thankfulness for heartfelt reconnections with friends who had been and are now again so dear. I cherish with gratitude those special memories of times gone by and the anticipation of new memories to be created.
Once hosting ships at its dock the bay to ancient Ephesus is now home to olive groves, grape vines and sheep ranchers. Walking the stone laden streets of the place the Apostle Paul once called home for a while was both challenging and awe inspiring. The remnants of the decayed and crumbling library with two of its magnificent three stories brought back as a testament to the artistry and engineering of that day prompted thoughts of what it must have been like to have been there reading from those scrolls. Further along, past what looked like a flat and welcoming sports field, we came upon the ancient avenue upon which Caesar and Cleopatra once traveled. That avenue led to the entrance to the grand amphitheater that seated twenty five thousand in its day. Legend has it that Paul the Apostle himself preached in that amphitheater. As I stood there taking in what is now ruins crowded with tourists I was swept away with thoughts of what it must have been like in those days for the people to whom Paul exhorted to “put on the whole armor of God.” I whispered prayers of thankfulness to have the opportunity to experience those moments that day in Ephesus. Gratitude has proven to be both a source of comfort in the moment and motivation to discover the moments to come.