flexibility
The frosty fields glisten under the bright morning sun as a new day begins. The ravens have not yet emerged for their daily scavenging acts across the field and graveled drive. The chickens have arisen from their roost to begin their foraging agenda and the goats are already licking past the frost to nibble away at the bountiful pasture grass. The signs of a new day and what may appear to some as a new life have begun. The farm is host to many expressions of daily experiences. Digging deeper, one can’t help but be amazed at the plethora of life giving, life sustaining layers that exist in God’s domain. As the temperature emerges from the still cold freeze of the evening into the gentle welcome of the sunlit day this possessor of Parkinson’s embraces thoughts of gratitude for the possibilities that lie ahead. Assumptions of continued mobility and reasonable flexibility undergird the emerging agenda for today. The assumptions support the faith that tasks will be accomplished. Different assumptions would lead in a different direction that would require as much faith to accomplish. Today this grateful occupant chooses the assumption that focuses my faith on the positive outcomes and their attending reinforcements, being thankful for each step along the way!
Overcast, but not gloomy, the landscape brightens slowly signaling the arrival of some cooler weather. An agenda waits as this day unfolds, but in the still of these early hours we calmly reflect upon those things for which we are thankful. Parkinson’s has taken its toll but it has not stolen the joy of life. Without the loss of some flexibility, I would have never known the freedom that agility brings. So much would have been taken for granted and there are times when I long to have all that for so long I did take for granted. Nevertheless, as the sun breaks through the morning sky so too arises the joyful reminder that right now, today, back pain has subsided, tremors have almost ceased, and this body feels rested. Another opportunity to discover what is possible in this gift called life has emerged in the dawning of this new day. Gratitude waters this soul as the fruit of thankfulness ripens in this ever bearing heart!
The refreshing breeze of this spring morning makes the bright green leaves of the trees glow in the light of the new day. Rain from the previous day has doused the abundance of pollen for a while and rendered the air fresh and wholesome. A restful night’s sleep and a refreshed atmosphere enhanced by more flexible movement promises a day filled with physical productivity. Gratitude fills this heart as it supplies oxygen and nutrients to a willing body. Experience has taught that overenthusiastic activity on those feel good and flexible days can in short order render a body fraught with pain and stiffness. Today, moderation takes center stage as we enjoy the abundance of blessings and grace. Our thankfulness today is enhanced by the presence of glee at the absence of some pain and rigidity. May this grateful mind nurture the seeds of love that gives back to the great provider!
Flipping an omelet was a simple task. Turning from side to side in the bed was once a thoughtless maneuver. Putting on pants while standing was second nature and required no thought or attention. Hopping from the chair to attend to a recalled task was a snap. Flicking a light switch was accomplished with lightening speed. Turning quickly because you remembered something in the other direction required no attention to the process of turning around. “Past” is the tense in each of the previous statements. So many things this “whipper-snapper” took for granted have become the thief demanding attention where no attention was before required. This stranger called Parkinson’s disease has decided to take up residence. His presence is unwelcomed and he was uninvited. His intrusiveness is fuel for my anger at times and a reminder of my grief at what has been lost. I reflect on life before his invasion and though saddened at times by loss I cannot help but be thankful that those years of freedom were given. Today the struggle is not as much with the resistance to movement or the slowness to respond to my every whim, but rather with the integration of what is today, with the memory of what used to be. Each day now becomes a new opportunity to exercise what remains. Placing grief at the feet of thankfulness helps create a path forward with the legs of gratitude.
I read the agreement and corporate disclaimer and grabbed the pen to sign the document. As I began to render my signature, I noticed the familiar slant and broad stroke from years gone by. I raised my hand to examine it to find an absence of tremor at that moment. Pen to paper, I filled the blank spaces requiring address and phone number. Absent was the micro script that has consumed the hand writing efforts of the last two years. Present was the broad and sweeping script characteristic in past renderings. What to many may seem a minor gift was to me a golden treasure. My second grade teacher had chastised me for poor script as we were expected in those days to master cursive writing. Attention to that perceived deficit had produced an attractive flair that had characterized my handwriting for so long. Parkinson’s uninvited invasion, now camping out for the duration, has insinuated its movement limitations in my right hand and foot. The discovery this morning that nimble flexibility had at least for the moment returned ignited a burst of thankfulness. One would normally not think that such a little thing as nimble fingers would give pause for praise, but PD is like the thief that quietly invades time after time, stealing more and more of the “little” things that we take for granted. Having one or two restored, if even for a short while, is like being flooded with the fondest of memories. I am grateful to be learning not to take even the most minor ability for granted or as a “right” as a functioning human, but to rather view everything as a blessing, even if only in a memory!