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The sky was ablaze with lights from the completed and under construction skyscrapers of Philadelphia as the giant plane in which we were safely lodged ascended on the second leg of our journey to Rome, Italy. Already tired from a morning of last minute packing and preparation as we checked off each of the items on the “packing” list for our fifteen day journey aboard a giant cruise ship through the Mediterranean and across the Atlantic Ocean to Fort Lauderdale, sleep was emerging as a welcomed visitor. After a few nibbles of what was described as a chicken dinner, this host to Parkinson’s symptoms opted for desert and the evening’s medication before fading into an ever so brief period on near REM sleep. The arrival in Rome was smooth, but the help with moving from the plane exit to “immigration” and then to baggage claim did not materialize as had been promised before boarding in NC. As the journey walking became longer and longer we finally reached the exit to the “receiving” area of the airport where we deposited our luggage with the cruise line and were instructed when and where to meet for the one hour transport to the ship for embarkation. Words of gratitude for the strength to have made that long walking journey were uttered along with thanks that the excessive walk was accomplished. With a ship sign in her hand held slightly above her head we began what we thought was the short journey to the transport bus. Out the terminal door we marched. There were buses lined up one after the other and we walked by every one of them and then toward an airport exit in the distance. Legs cramping and the weight of my carry-on soon making every step a challenge we walked and walked for what seemed about ten city blocks before we boarded the bus hidden behind an ice cream transport truck. Once seated on the bus this cramping and over tired old codger mentally whispered words of thanks for having found the strength to have made what felt like the two mile walking journey. It wasn’t over, but the one hour reprieve gave encouragement for the last leg of walking through embarkation and the journey to the ships cafeteria and finally to our stateroom. Gratitude was the fuel that fed the motivation to keep on walking, one step at a time!
The alarm sounded and the brain of this Parkinson’s host fought the notion of a new reality, different from the one soundly brewing in dreamland. Almost without thinking the morning routine of medication, a doggie run, a coffee brew, and another quiet time reading and reflecting was engaged. Today’s agenda had me driving in the dark of a mid-fall early morning to attend the first men’s prayer breakfast for this new month. Greetings, smiles and warm welcomes as we shared a morning biscuit or two set the stage for the moments of exchanging prayer requests, both of desires and those of gratitude. The “lesson” for today was from two parables from Luke’s Gospel: The Friend at Midnight and The Widow and the Judge (Luke 11:5-8, Luke 18:1-8). The verbal lesson was brief, but the meaningful lesson came with the instruction to find a quiet place within the church parlor to meditate and pray as our hearts and minds led us. Implicit was the charge to listen to what we were saying and perceiving in the quiet presence of our God with whom our thoughts were being shared. The time seemed to fly by as we were then called to a communal prayer of dismissal and charge to live in the love into which we had been immersed. A total of thirty minutes of my day had been occupied in the conscious presence of the One I worship when I step beyond the bounds of purely self. My day was changed; I viewed the world differently. As I did my errands and attended the tasks at hand I understood that I had crossed the bridge of thankfulness into the place of gratitude that gave a different light to those I saw and the things I did.
The mist rose from the warm pond water into the morning haze expressing its reaction to the newly arrived colder weather. The chickens were already pecking their way from the coop to the waiting compost from which their morning selection of grubs and nearly decaying seeds would emerge with a scratch or two from their thorny feet. Light had fully arrived since this morning’s earlier than usual extended period of wakefulness had led this reluctant host of various Parkinson’s symptoms to ascend the by then discomfort of the mattress to a place of ease in the welcoming recliner. The pup relieved and a few pages into the book being consumed I was reminded that attention to the meaning of the words had been lost to a wandering mind about the health condition of several friends and the list of agenda items that had been crafted for the day. Coffee and a light serving of cereal were consumed before embarking on the search for the first item on the agenda to be placed in a secure location for safe keeping. The last few places that the item had been seen sere checked to no avail. As I sat at my desk pondering the implications of having to replace the document it occurred to me that I may have already placed the item in the safe place. “Surely I would remember that”, I told myself before taking the few steps needed to peer into the secure location. Lifting the lid a burst of laughter erupted from this aging mouth as the document lay there with what gleamed like a smiling face saying; “beat you to it”! A moment of pause followed as I whispered words of thankfulness interspersed with a few otherwise self-deprecating expressions as I laughed at myself. Gratitude and a bit of humor shaken together with the morning mist prove to be an appreciated energy boost on a shiny fall morning!
The glow through the closed blinds was bright as I lay there contemplating the things yet to be done around the farm before winter. Just minutes before I was awakened by nature’s urge and heeded the call. Sleep disturbance is not an unfamiliar visitor to the possessor of Parkinson’s but its visit is nonetheless interruptive of the rest that one so desires for a body neurologically challenged. Nightly visits are routine and usually are not disruptively interruption to a full night’s sleep, but this intruder was determined to gain attention. A field to mow, grass to cut in the yard, repair to an old barn and replacement of a shed’s gutter were intruders that seemed not to respond to “rational” thinking that would have otherwise put them in their place. After what seemed to be an extended period of obsessive time and renewed irritation of painful “pressure points” the only logical alternative seemed to be the one that made this aging codger rise from the sheets and wander into the den recliner for what was hoped to be a finishing evening respite. Irrational thinking had overcome the rational and dopamine depleted neurons seemed to embrace the need to stay wide awake. Upon surrender to wakefulness the yawns began their descent, but time had passed where renewing sleep would become a part of the day’s agenda. Gazing at the rising sun in the east and the setting moon in the west, whispers of thankfulness for the opportunity for another experience of life descended like a blanket of comfort surrounding this now calm recipient. None of the obsessive thoughts will be addressed in today’s agenda, but they will be tucked away in the ultimate “to do” within the next few months. With gratitude for the option of planning the execution of tasks, we prepare for the day at hand.
The rains have gone and the aftermath is a quiet calm and a chilled morning. This possessor of Parkinson’s symptoms experienced some stiffness and discomfort during the deluge but has since been touched with only minor aches and pains that may be as much related to age as to the depletion of dopamine. Today is a celebration. Fourteen years ago a precious gift was given our family in the form of an infant girl to whom her parents gave the name Vanessa. Her loving, bright, and cheerful demeanor coupled with a quick grasp of knowledge about and around her environment has embedded her very being in our hearts. For this precious gift that brightens a room with the sunshine of her heart and personality we give thanks. She reminds us that blessings come into our presence every day in forms that melt our hearts and brighten our lives in ways we never imagined. Every day is a blessing that is brightened by the presence of each grandchild and today’s is grandly illuminated by this gift who celebrates fourteen years!
We were is deep conversation as the person with whom I was interacting sought to understand the dynamics of organizational outcome that were intertwined with commonly shared values that were “played out” in everyday behaviors of employees. Suddenly, the alarm sounded and I emerged to the stark reality that the meaningful and deep conversation in which I was engaged was in fact a dream and that my mind must now engage another real agenda that would embrace the here and now. Pondering the day ahead, soon to be filled with an agenda yet to be fully constructed, I paused to remember those I know and love and to whisper prayers of provision for each as only God knows their deepest needs. In the quiet of the morning and the refreshed cool reprieve from the hot days of summer I give thanks in awe for the experiences shared in life and the opportunities for learning, loving, and living midst the light of God’s love. The remnants of that early morning dream have reignited the pleasure received from having worked within the complexities of organizations designing ways of helping groups understand the uniqueness of their endeavors. As I reveled in uncovering pathways the joy of that unveiling was elevated when the one(s) on the journey discovered where that pathway was leading him (them). Where there had once been a dimly lit existence there then emerged upon discovery a glowing array of potential pathways on the journey to a cherished destination. Truly, the day has been filled with the light of gratitude that has colored each and every step. Even those steps tinted with PD have been exercised in the light of thankfulness and expressed in the glow of gratitude!
The western sky was ablaze with the setting sun peeking through the covey of storm clouds passing by. We stood in front of the restaurant as we waited for the rest of the family who were near to arrive and took in the beauty of that early evening display of nature’s artistry. Seventy years of life was the cause of celebration as the family gathered inside a private room in that Southside Virginia restaurant that evening. Thrilled that pain had chosen not to visit in several days, this possessor of Parkinson’s took in the sight of each family member attending this celebration with eyes filled with gratitude for their presence. Babies glowing in the light of adult attention and adults sharing memories from days gone by that can only touch the surface of a lifetime of recollection filled the room with the warmth of familiarity and appreciation. I don’t remember that Sunday in 1946 when I made the way from my mother’s womb to her arms, but I am so thankful for the moments of experiencing life that have touched my heart and memory, sparking the flame of thankfulness for the union of gametes that joined to offer up the fortunate soul I experience as me. The kaleidoscope of human emotions is set free in the experiences that have blessed the past seventy years and I am forever grateful that faith, hope, and love have lighted the pathway, even during the times when my eyes were closed. That pathway of possibilities reveals itself in the glow of gratitude ignited by those three remaining life support systems; faith, hope, love! By the grace of God, there seems to be even more of the pathway to discover!
As the alarm sounded the mental struggle began identifying the location somewhere between deep REM sleep and the darkness surrounding the space in the room where this peacefully sleeping possessor of Parkinson’s was enjoying pain free moments of restful bliss. The day, the duties, the persons for whom I pray all rushed forth as I reached down to gently slide the slippers over my feet. Soon the first noticed rush of rain showered down on the tin roof of the old farmhouse engulfing us in sound like the touch of a blanket wrapped securely in the still of the night. Gracie, the Golden, was prancing to exit into the early morning quiet and the spray of the passing shower. Set free for the moment, she pranced ever so gently to her desired spot just long enough to free her evening collection and pounce back to the covered porch awaiting her return. Daybreak is coming later now as we enter the first full day of autumn, and rain clouds hovering add to the diminished specter of sunlight in the eastern sky. Soon the full dose of morning medication is consumed and the first cup of coffee is brewed. The view from the Great Room provides a peaceful backdrop to the prayers of thanksgiving that are being offered up for the blessings received and the gratitude for those yet to come. Grace has made its way to this house of hope and we celebrate the reality of its presence. Another day is about to unfold!
This morning’s pre-dawn glow was a hazy and foggy reminder that these cooler days do not arrive without evidence that change is underway. There is often physical resistance to weather changes that emerges as stiffness, joint and muscle aches or other symptoms lumped in the basket of descriptors called aging. This aging possessor of PD symptoms just a few weeks ago was experiencing seemingly unbearable aches and pains in his back and legs. At its height, even crawling into bed was accompanied by involuntary moans and cries for Divine intervention. That night was one of relative restoration wherein muscles began to relax and rest was welcomed. Nothing different was done in the daily routine that we can consciously attribute to the descent of well being into the place of agony that had ensued. Likewise, nothing was done differently that has brought about the feeling of healing as the pain and stiffness has steadily departed its position as daylong companion. Resumption of Physical Therapy exercises has been executed each day recently and enthusiastic prayers of thankfulness for the presence of a pain free back have been raised multiple of times each day. Whether Divine intervention or a divinely natural change in a lumbar cyst or other happening, this recipient of relief is enthusiastically grateful for the relief from the piercing pain that was truly debilitating! Gratitude fuels the flame of hope and peace that warms the depths of this heart embracing the blessing that is life!
All is quiet with the exception of the rhythmic ceiling fan stirring the cooled conditioned air in the early hours of the morning. In this pre-dawn time my thoughts surround the notion that assuming a different position will render a more relaxed portal through which sleep will descend. Relaxation fails to arrive and thoughts of the day ahead begin swirling almost with the rhythm of the fan. A conscious leap to thoughts of gratitude for another evening of renewal and a current day offering up the presence of possibilities to discover what opportunities lie yet to be discovered brings the assurance of hope for another day. As I peer through the glass door to the well illuminated white bench in the yard I recall the many years that bench has occupied that space. My father placed it there when I was in college and except for the replacement of the wooden back rails and the occasional paint job it has remained the same for all those years. It has seen the pecan tree erupt into a giant green monster over it and has witnessed my son’s first lesson in “stick carving” and his wife’s seating in her wedding dress (for pictures) on the day of their marriage. It has held my daughter and I as we talked, my granddaughter and I as we cracked some pecans and it stands today as a wonderful reminder of the blessings for which this old PD possessor has to be thankful. The journey from the restless dawn to the bench of memories was only a few thankful moments that reminded me of grateful gifts of the past and anticipation of those yet to come!