symptoms
The forecast is that today will be the hottest day in several weeks. An early morning rise and attention to chores routine and periodic has rendered tasks completed and behind us. Now we are free for those things which give us passion (writing and reading) and a planned adventure this afternoon through the local Science Museum. That visit has been on our summer agenda, but has been relegated to near the last of adventures for our granddaughter before she leaves for her return trip to her home in Florida. Gratitude brightens this boomers heart that we have had a summer of activities that have been engaging and instructive for Vanessa. She has embraced her adventures and engaged each with excitement and openness to learn and enjoy. Disease symptoms still exist, but during this summer I have learned how to place them in perspective as present but not consuming. Thankfulness is an elixir that needs no consumer warning. Its side effect is a brighter day!
Fog shrouds the landscape in a way that makes the trees and gazebo appear three dimensional. Light is just beginning to break through the mist on the eastern horizon. The days are beginning to become slightly shorter and the time is approaching when the summer will be over. The presence of our granddaughter over the past few weeks has been a gift to cherish. Little did I know that being busy with “horse camp,” riding lessons, numerous appointments and just plain banter and chatter would be the frosting on this summer pudding. Soon her teenage years may distract her, but for now I choose to focus on the joy we all share in experiencing life with the wonder of youth spewing forth exuberantly. Whether the result of physical therapy, warm weather, the distraction of pre-teen agendas, or all of the above, the symptoms of my chronic ailment have seemed to demand less attention. I am possessed with gratitude for the opportunity to be a part of creating fond memories for my granddaughter and for the flexibility to participate. The potter is not done with the clay and I am thankful to have been a witness to the Master Craftsman at work.
Fog shrouds the landscape. As the day is dawning, warmer and moister air is laying claim in and through the forest canopy. Forecasters predict near record highs across the region as temperatures soar to near ninety. Just a few weeks ago we were caught firmly in the grip of winter’s freeze as she seemed reluctant to surrender to her spring master. It seems that bouts of excess crowd the procession of seasons, disrupting our projection of “normal.” Some prognosticators warn of even greater swings in weather as a result of human produced carbon emissions into the atmosphere. The answer seems simple but the journey to its solution is even longer and more complex than the road that led us this far. These new weather “symptoms” are requiring “different” accommodations. Similarly, these PD symptoms are requiring a different means of movement and exercise that “accommodate” this new normal. Although I cannot reverse this diseased journey my body has taken, I can learn new and different ways to negotiate the path now before me. Beyond the palpable exists the spiritual and emotional engine that drives forward each waking moment. True gratitude is the fuel that ignites this thankful vehicle for the journey that is each day. Today is another opportunity!
By Cathy Garrott:
Last week I received a letter from a dear friend in England telling me that her younger sister had just been diagnosed with PD. She said the whole family is somewhat in shock and struggling to grasp what this means for the future. Her letter was somewhat of a cry for me to help put some normality back into their lives, to offer some hope that everything is going to be alright and they can get back to life as they have known it before now. Unfortunately I do not have the power to do that, only God can do that kind of thing. But I can be used by Him as one who can come along side to exhort, encourage, urge, and comfort … a kind of paraclete with skin on.
I spent several hours pouring my heart out to her in an 8 page letter. I did not want to say “Welcome aboard the PD train of life” because I don’t think anyone would find a “welcome” comforting at this time in their life. In fact, I have yet to meet someone with PD who thought of this as a welcome diagnosis when they received it. I shared with my friend the myriad of feelings and emotions that bombarded my heart and mind when I was first diagnosed … denial, anxiety, grief, anger, pity, and more. I told her that I struggle with it mentally, emotionally, and physically every day. Laying my heart open for her to see what her sister is probably going through mentally, I tried to be as honest and open with her as I felt she could handle at this point. Her sister’s caregivers are going to need to understand what is going on in HER mind and help her deal with things as SHE is perceiving them. They are going to need to be a paraclete for this sister, offering hope in times of despair.
Listing several websites that will be of help, I encouraged her to share my letter with her sister and the rest of the entire family … so that they will be good caregivers from the get-go. We need to be surrounded by people who offer us understanding and hope … whether we have PD or not! We need people around us who will encourage us to do all that we are able, and help us see how much that is.
According to Webster, Paraclete is a Latin word that was used by the early church to mean “HOLY SPIRIT.” (The reference for this word is found in John 14:16, 26; 15:26; 16:7.) It was taken from the Greek noun parakletos” – which means literally “advocate, intercessor” and from the Greek verb parakalein which means “to invoke.” These 2 Greek words come from the word stem parakaleo which means “I exhort, I encourage, I urge, I comfort.”
The place seemed so strange. Hard cushions, metal chairs, one square room, a Murphy bed and tiny kitchenette. Preparing for the week, I stocked up with familiar staples at the local market. These, I reasoned, would add familiarity to the unfamiliar environment into which I was venturing. After three days now, the unfamiliar environment has taken on the cloak of familiarity and the comfort level has grown from none to moderate. Proximity to family and friends provides solace that each member is but a short drive away. I’m taken by the similarity between adaptation to one’s environment and the adaptation one engages at the onset of non life threatening disease symptoms. What was at first a strange and very uncomfortable symptom over time becomes one for which one makes accommodation and although not fully welcomed, is nonetheless accepted. In the process of acclimation to the vacation accommodation, thanks are offered for the accessibility and relative convenience of the temporary abode. Likewise, thanks for flexibility and durability in the face of somewhat progressive disease symptoms changes the paradigm from lost to remaining. Gratitude again fills the cauldron to abundance as we savor the flavor of grace.
Unseasonably warm wind blows in gusts from the southeast rattling limbs on the barren winter trees. The rooster lets loose his crowing sound of mastery over his domain as the edge of light begins its invasion of the sky. Cast iron stove and oil fired furnace stay unused for the day as shirtsleeve temperatures begin to arrive with the light. A winter reprieve is upon us. Warmth from the outside air brings with it the memory of extended livable space to include deck and fields, unburdened by the chill of an icy breeze. The temptation is to unpack all the summer patio gear so carefully tucked away for the winter. Experience reminds us, however, that this reprieve is only temporary. Winter has only just begun and months more of cold are on their way. For today we will enjoy what nature has wrought and move freely without layered constraint. Likewise, when symptoms suddenly seemingly subside, experience tells us they will return. One does not wait in anticipation of returned constraints, but rather enjoys the reprieve by using the freedom wholeheartedly in the presence of gratitude. May your life’s engine be revved up by a tank full of “thanks”.
Colorful patterned paper waited on the tightly wound tube to be unfurled and wrapped around the rectangular box containing the prized Christmas present. Careful listening and stealth internet shopping had rendered just what was desired under the tree. The first challenge was unrolling the paper from the tube without seeing it roll anew in the other direction. Placing the rectangular container at the edge of the paper seemed to be the answer until sizing of the paper became necessary. The frustration was beginning to build. There had always been nimble fingers and flexible wrists available for this seemingly mundane task when tackled in years gone by. Where nimble digits had previously been at the fore, now slow to move and solidly resistant joints impeded the process. Suddenly, the fingers and movement always taken for granted were demanding intention and forced direction to accomplish the seemingly most menial task. It was as though I suddenly was faced with wrapping presents with my toes. As the irrationally impatient perpetrator of the packaging process became more frustrated, a distracting thought invaded. What if the aging process were reversed? What if youngsters were inundated with regressively bothersome diseases, so that as one ages, the impediments disappear and the old experienced codgers become more supple, limber, agile, and quick? All the “logical” reasons why came flooding in my mind, but not until the frustration of the hand at task had completed its intended labor. A seeming impediment had been met with a momentary distraction that ushered the task to completion. A moment of reflection ignited a time of thankfulness that the task indeed was complete and now could be lovingly (if not patiently) placed beneath the tree.
The room was filled with anticipation from those who attended the workshop that day. Insights into human motivation were being gleaned as the facilitators shared their mutual and respective experiences. Nothing was simplistic, but everything was being explained in a simple manner. “We have a choice in related to one another,” the first leader touted. “Build walls or bridges,” the second one followed. They postulated that each took time, energy, and materials to construct. One kept people out while the other gave egress to those desiring to cross. If one’s view of the world is that it is a daunting and hostile place, that person will most likely be about building walls, even if that person desires relationship. If one believes that the world has its challenges, but all may be overcome with the help and support of others, bridges will be built. Volumes have been written about relationships and the complexities therein. Some are quite helpful where others simply build reading skills. The discovery that how one views one’s diagnosis and symptoms can play an integral part in maintaining health and mobility has been a blessing. I am learning that “listening” to my symptoms of pain and stiffness rather than being hostile to them gives me yet another tool with which to build a bridge of understanding as to the complex needs of my body. Understanding the need for strategic and specific exercises, though possibly difficult to maneuver, may be the bridge over which greater comfort may eventually travel my way. Above all, I am thankful for insight that helps navigate the bridge building to greater peace with health. Someday, all will be made whole as I cross the bridge built by the Master Craftsman. Until then, I am thankful for any bridge building tools He brings my way.
Skies are often blue from the sun’s brightness on a clear day. On other days the sky is grey from overcast clouds blocking the direct rays of the sun. As evening comes, the earth’s rotation takes our location away from the direct view of our warming orb. A cloudy day or a darkened night does not mean the sun does not exist. Because symptoms of pain, stiffness, or other discomforts may be the experience of the present does not mean the existence of relief has ceased. One does not embrace a cloudy day as a means of driving it away. One goes about one’s day regardless of the clouds surrounding. Symptoms may be obstructive, but they need not be destructive. Gratitude in the midst of clouds brings sunshine to the soul in need of light. May your day be lighted with thankfulness!
Today the weather changed. A refreshing cool wind blew from the northwest scattering multicolored leaves about the lawn. Maple tree seeds ample enough to dot the surface of the carport spread briskly in the gusts of wind. The farm animals seemed to revel in the freshness of the day as goats bantered about with each other and the chickens enjoyed the feast of worms abundantly brought to the surface by the previous day’s rain and their ample pick of seeds from the winds of change. The shifting angle of the earth’s rotation signals the passing of summer into autumn and with it nature’s adaptation in its changing environment. As the natural landscape of the farmland adjusts to the evolving temperature and light upon its surface, so too do our bodies react to change. Most of that change is a part of the normal cycle of adaptation but occasionally, that change is exacerbated by dis-ease. Stiffness, involuntary (non-intended) movement and enhanced pain are often uninvited visitors to the PD person’s visceral dwelling. One sometimes attributes that visitor’s overextended stay to the cooling weather conditions, but then is reminded that those same visitors arrived during warmer times as well. Perhaps uninvited disease symptoms are better adapted to or tolerated in the sunshine of the spring and summer as one is anticipating the freedom of outdoor adventures. Recognizing the guests for who they are gives clarity in preparation for their temporary accommodation with a thankful heart of celebration at their ultimate departure! Thankfulness is an antidote to otherwise distracting intrusions.