strength
Jonathan Swift is credited with stating “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” Struggling with the experience of frustration at keeping a clean abode I dread the exercise of house cleaning. As I clean one space I notice another that needs attention. Given only a week after cleaning to a semi sparkling state I notice the need for another pass of the dust cloth. Reading, writing, some cooking and exercising to build strength for smoother movement are passions and acceptable tasks this boomer engages with ease. House cleaning is NOT on this bud’s list of joys to engage. Frustration was building as steadily as the layers of dust on the mantle. Then it occurred to me; I’m a sow’s ear! It is unreasonable that something for which I have never had a passion nor enjoyed would somehow miraculously emerge as a source of satisfaction at having accomplished. A silk purse I will not become and the sooner I accept that being a sow’s ear is perfectly logical and natural for me the better off I will be. Pursuant to that profound pondering we started investigating the cost of silk purses with built in propensities toward cleaning. At last, I can give up the notion of “must be” and live in the peace to “just be” how I’ve been so miraculously made!
By: Susan Millner Graham
Hi, I’m Susan, Tom’s cousin. Tom and I recently reconnected after many years of not hearing from each other. He was always my favorite cousin and I know I was special to him when we were growing up together.
I was not only surprised to find Tom on ancestry.com but saddened to discover, when I read his blog, that he has PD.
I don’t have PD but I live with it everyday. My husband has PD as a result of Agent Orange poisoning in the Vietnam war. It’s been difficult to watch a man who has always been so strong and dexterous begin to lose those abilities which have given him such joy and supported our family for so many years.
We all make adjustments throughout our lives, PD is one of those things that forces us to make adjustments in the everyday abilities we have taken for granted, as well as the roles we have played. The one who was most often taken care of must now be a caretaker and the stronger one must be willing to allow the caretaking process. At first this can be a very difficult thing, allowing others to help us when we have always prided ourselves on the ability to take care of our own daily requirements. I know that at first my husband hated to ask for help and when I did help him he felt sadness and shame. In time this gave way to reality and gratefulness to have the help of someone who loved him and wanted to be there for him in whatever capacity she could.
I was in shock and felt so inadequate to do all the things I knew that in time I would have to deal with. I felt a need to be stronger than ever before at the same time feeling at my weakest. I know that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness so I have held to that promise and relied on divine strength to get through each day.
We are thankful for the things my husband still can do and we are finding new ways of doing familiar things by unfamiliar means. Some days seem almost normal, others filled with pain and movement disorder. Falls, surgeries for torn ligaments etc. Thank God for the large assortment of PD meds and for special shoes that help with the foot he drags.
My husband is a strong willed man who perseveres in the face of difficulties. I admire him, and everyone who is living life to the fullest in spite of the interference in their daily lives of PD.
I try now to look at the positives and not dwell on the negatives or fear the future. God’s promises are sure, he has never dropped me and he won’t now.
Love to and prayers for all of you, patients and caregivers dealing with PD.
Susan