gratitude
Silence is broken by the rhythmic whirl of the ceiling fan as it helps to keep the air stirring in the old farm house. The pup, having delivered her gift to the grassy meadow, lies curled beneath the coffee table as she visits her morning nap. Here in the confines of my childhood dwelling with scores of lifelong relics denoting adventures and experiences building and growing family and relationship, I reflect upon the wonders and joys that have filled our lives. Feelings of grief have invaded recently prompting tearful and emotional moments that seem to come out of the blue. Clinically, depletion of dopamine in the brain can prompt and or exacerbate what would otherwise be normal responses to life changes. Past reactions would have been to “suck it up” and move on to just “get over it” and “chalk it up” as a part of life. A conscious decision to “let it happen” has been so very freeing. The recent TV news report of children from Syria now working as field hands in Lebanon ignited a flood gate of tearful emotions. A sort of purge springs forth in response to injustice, to loss, or to tragedy. A similar experience was had after the initial diagnosis of PD some years ago. The stages of grief have been real and the emotional healing after these stages has been real as well. Today, in the quiet of this moment, I reflect with gratitude and joy upon the experiences and relationships that this explorer calls life. Thankfulness is the cup from which this wanderer quenches his thirst. The cup over flows today!
Danville is a city in the southern Piedmont region of Virginia that has a rich and illustrious history. Embracing both banks of the Dan River as it meanders into the state of North Carolina, Danville was once a thriving economic hub for both the textile and tobacco industries. Celebrating its heritage as the “last capitol of the Confederacy,” and the birthplace of Lady Nancy Aster, this now struggling economic entity is slowly making its way back with an embrace of the twenty first century. An engaging Science Center is nestled near the century old train station and guards the entrance to the Carrington Pavilion for outdoor performances. The Center satiates curious minds from miles around. Saturday mornings from spring till fall the farmers market is bustling with local growers offering meat, eggs, and produce as the farmers seek to share not only their goods but also their friendly smiles and welcome. The “River District” is slowly becoming a vital new part of the city’s identity. Condominiums and apartments are emerging out of the old warehouses along the riverfront and restaurants offering tasty southern and eclectic cuisine invite the hungry resident and visitor to a satiating meal. Main Street, once the shopping hub of the downtown area is redefining itself as well into a new genre of unique shops and offerings. Nestled along the riverbank near the location of the old grist mill and the site of the wreck of the old 97 is a beautiful new state of the art YMCA. With offerings for those who are infants to others who are chronologically challenged, this new center expresses its function to match its beauty. The gymnasium serves to gratify not only the desire for a vigorous workout, but also offers up a magnificent view of the river flowing beneath the panorama of the city beyond. Our tour through the new facility this week gave ample opportunity to reflect with gratitude upon the opportunities that await this thankful visitor.
When they heard the chain slip past the clip on the gate to the barnyard, they all came rushing my way. The four goats, two Great Pyrenees and the flock of chickens all gathered around to greet me as I entered their domain. Agnes, the 90 pound Pyrenees pup grabbed my leg in a firm leg lock to claim me for herself. Roxy, the mature six year old simply offered her head up for a loving rub and a hearty hello. The four Nigerian dwarfs, Paul, Olivia, Peggy Sue, and Snow White all nuzzled their way between the canines to get their respective pats and rubs. The hens and Cock-a-doodle the rooster were content just to be observing from a nearby vantage. The purpose of my visit was to collect the eggs that the hens had deposited so neatly in their nests that morning. One old girl perched peacefully on the platform as I searched the other nests for their offerings. With six eggs collected and placed in the towel lined bucket I went to search one more area of the stable. Within seconds, Agnes stuck her nose in the bucket and was about to abscond with one of the fresh orbs. She had been the mysterious culprit previously in “the case of missing eggs.” A quick “NO” and an elevation of the container was enough to prompt a loss of interest by the pup who rushed to see what her senior mentor was barking at on the other side of the stable. Another egg in hand, I made my way back to the gate and the exit from the pasture. As I looked back, each of the animals that were so eager to greet and be greeted were busy with their respective meanderings about the stable. Back pain and stiffness in the right leg had been impediments to the full pleasure of engagement with the animals, but not a barrier to the joy of the opportunity to be in their presence. A pang of gratitude in a meadow of thankfulness generates a joyful heart.
A gentle breeze sweeps by the luscious fern overflowing from its hanging container. A random butterfly flutters from flower to flower in the abundant deck garden. The rooster crows and manifests for all to hear that his domain lies before the listening ear. The fresh coffee brew invigorates the taste buds as we take in the majesty of the Creator’s landscape. Fresh in the morning dew a backyard squirrel scampers about for what he might scavenge while avoiding the detection of the slumbering pup. Gratitude overflows this beating heart for another dawn has broken and another opportunity to discover more of God’s grace has arrived. The raging presence of stiffness and pain has subsided and an agenda of activity is about to unfold. Thankfulness will be the fuel that ignites this heart to embrace the arrival of each moment in the presence of a loving Lord.
The glow of the pre-dawn shone through the window as I became consciously aware that one leg was hanging over the side of the bed with a toe touching the floor. Suddenly, I was wide awake. Instead of trying to find another place of quiet comfort between the covers I found my way to the kitchen and the light of the stove clock indicating I had roused from my slumber an hour before the clock was to alarm. Undaunted, the normal routine of the day was engaged as the dog received her due attention with a run in the grass. As the sun rose over the eastern horizon gratitude engulfed my consciousness. A thankful heart whispered its acknowledgement for the grace that is another day. Another opportunity to discover possibilities that lie ahead is spread before me as the intended agenda for this day begins to consciously unfold. Today’s physical impediments are not obstructive barriers but rather recognized traveling companions on this journey of discovery.
The warmth and humidity engulf us as we sit under the canopy covered deck. Without the slightest movement perspiration emerges from the glands to cool this resting body. A wipe away or a decline in temperature will restore the comfort that once was a cooler clime. In much the same way the persistent pain that has emerged over the last twenty four hours seems to have engulfed my presence. The throbbing ache emerging from the lumbar region seems to be a persistent but unwelcome squatter who reminds me with every step that he demands attention. Exercise and stretching have had little effect in deterring this annoying intruder. Just as life must move forward in the presence of the humid air, so this one, for now, must move forward even in the presence of the painful visitor. In the midst of the emerging irrational anger comes the reminder that “this too shall pass.” This impatient life traveler gives thanks for the memory that these periods of near debilitating aches give way to freedom of movement without the nasty intruder. Gratitude is both the gift and the giver for therein lies a pathway to new horizons!
Clouds hover as the heat from the sun is reserved for space above the mist. The landscape still showers us with its beauty and grace as the verdant green of grass and trees bursts forth in the mist of the day. All is quiet this day as even birds and road traffic seem to have abandoned their posts. Stiffness and pain seem to have made their way in with the rising of the sun. Perhaps overindulgence in activities of late or perhaps it’s just the cycle this boomer body is to expect on the disease process road this one travels. At the edge of dawn I was taken by a moment of complaining to myself followed by a reminder that I have neither the right nor reason to be complaining about anything. Loved by an everlasting God of grace, provided with a sheltered place to sleep, and sustained with food and opportunities to minimize the effects of disease, I was suddenly turned from groans to gratitude. I am thankful that the choice to praise outweighs the propensity to pity.
The forecast is that today will be the hottest day in several weeks. An early morning rise and attention to chores routine and periodic has rendered tasks completed and behind us. Now we are free for those things which give us passion (writing and reading) and a planned adventure this afternoon through the local Science Museum. That visit has been on our summer agenda, but has been relegated to near the last of adventures for our granddaughter before she leaves for her return trip to her home in Florida. Gratitude brightens this boomers heart that we have had a summer of activities that have been engaging and instructive for Vanessa. She has embraced her adventures and engaged each with excitement and openness to learn and enjoy. Disease symptoms still exist, but during this summer I have learned how to place them in perspective as present but not consuming. Thankfulness is an elixir that needs no consumer warning. Its side effect is a brighter day!
Fog shrouds the landscape in a way that makes the trees and gazebo appear three dimensional. Light is just beginning to break through the mist on the eastern horizon. The days are beginning to become slightly shorter and the time is approaching when the summer will be over. The presence of our granddaughter over the past few weeks has been a gift to cherish. Little did I know that being busy with “horse camp,” riding lessons, numerous appointments and just plain banter and chatter would be the frosting on this summer pudding. Soon her teenage years may distract her, but for now I choose to focus on the joy we all share in experiencing life with the wonder of youth spewing forth exuberantly. Whether the result of physical therapy, warm weather, the distraction of pre-teen agendas, or all of the above, the symptoms of my chronic ailment have seemed to demand less attention. I am possessed with gratitude for the opportunity to be a part of creating fond memories for my granddaughter and for the flexibility to participate. The potter is not done with the clay and I am thankful to have been a witness to the Master Craftsman at work.
Cooler and more moderate breezes flow today through the trees and garden here on the farm. This is such a welcomed reprieve from the scorching high humidity days experienced just a week ago. As a child growing up here before the days of central air conditioning and heat, the windows in spring, summer, and fall were opened wide to accept any breezes that might blow through to keep the heat from overtaking us. Most of the time in those years was spent out of doors, working the fields, playing with friends, or exploring the streams and springs under the canopy of the forest. Although chores were consistent, there was always time for discovering new and different ways of enjoying the hazy days of summer. Indulging the cauldron of memories of those youthful summers stirs up a delightful aroma of gratitude that permeates today. Morning chores completed, this boomer can now bask in the sheltered breeze with a good book and thankful memories that become a vital part of tomorrow’s recollection.