gratitude
Overcast and cooler, the deck this morning is inviting. The puppy and her mother have played in the cool moist grass and Sebastian, the barn cat, has wandered by offering his somewhat aloof greeting. Tasks wait as we enjoy the splendor of the outdoor moments and revel in the gratitude for this time and place. Although movement challenges persist from that visitor called Parkinson’s we continue forward being thankful for the opportunity to press on. Occasionally we are visited by fatigue, persistent pain and resistance to movement. These visitors are sometimes met with anger, sometimes with determination, and at others with tears. Absorbing the beauty of the present moment away from the effects of those nasty visitors renews this heart with wonder, encouragement and gratitude. This place, this day, this view from the deck ignites the fuel that propels us to live to the fullest. May we seek out each day that place where thankfulness washes over us and renews our hearts with gratitude!
She lies on her back with paws curled haphazardly as she sleeps her mid-morning away. Barbara, aka “Babs” is the remaining pup from the litter of Golden Retrievers born from Gracie on June 16. She remains in her birth home until her family (my son, his wife, and his daughter) comes to take her to be theirs in mid-September. In the meanwhile, she is learning how to be an obedient and trustworthy house pet. Gracie has made that challenging at times when outside with Babs pouncing on her, tripping her, and at times flipping her with her nose. The pup is adapting well to being “crate” trained for her early months of development and is learning to sleep through the night without needing attention. Her routine is fast becoming familiar which gives her a strong sense of security in the presence of this world into which she has been born. She, like we who identify as human, thrives in a place of security. Yet, maturity is achieved in its broadest sense when life is lived knowing that security is not a physical place but rather an inward acknowledgement that all is believed to be well. Volumes could be written about the subject of acquiring, experiencing or losing the sense of security, but for now Babs has this “maturing” participant with Parkinson’s leading her in the lessons of a secure life. Teaching her requires discovering how she learns and applying her lessons in her way. Gratitude rules the day when success has been found in teaching her that way!
She’s tired. The pups have literally sucked the energy from her. Yet, this patient and alert golden retriever continues to attend to those three pups that remain until week’s end. As she and I spend time grooming her on the deck she seems to revel in each stroke of the brush through her deep and light golden hair. As the breeze gently blows, she raises her head to inhale scents from the wind that appear to replenish her energy. She lays her head gently on my knee and looks up at me as if to say “all is well.” I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be at her side as she has so instinctively fulfilled her role as mother to her delightful pups. For a time, this unwilling participant in Parkinson’s is lost in the presence of thankfulness for nature’s sharing of one of its miracles. Thankful for the opportunity to be moved beyond the confines of a challenged self, I rejoice in the glow of the blessing that is connection with life’s miracles and wonders. The truly joyous self appears to be found in the presence of that which is other than self!
An eerie stillness covers the overcast landscape as if exhausted from the bright sun and humid breezes of the days prior. A bit of sunshine begins to break through the dense foggy barrier as Gracie the Golden surveys the orchard for hints of scents that may be interesting, if not distracting from her mothering duties of late. This stiff Parkinson’s fraught body plops slowly into the new porch swing as it gently pushes itself to stretch and flex its semi-resistant legs. The now six week old pups are foraging their landscape for any remainder of puppy food morsels. Within the thirty minute window from first medication ingestion to the first sip of the day’s caffeine, pups have been fed, Gracie has been indulged, and a thankful caretaker has stretched and embraced the wonder of the day’s gift of life. With a healthy helping of gratitude for the beauty and wonder of today’s light, this partaker of life’s journey prepares his heart and mind for thanks filled navigation!
The second alarm sounded waking me from a deep sleep filled with hurried and fast paced dreams. Awaiting the gated door was Miss Gracie and two of her charming pups. These two had managed to climb up and tumble down the makeshift barrier intended to keep puppies contained. Another chore was added to the day’s agenda. Repeatedly, the rousing pups were returned to their “nest” and bowls of puppy food were gently placed in front of them. Voraciously, the fuzzy little Golden Retrievers attacked the food bowls beginning the first munch of the day. After a quick run, Mother Gracie wolfed down her first meal and hopped in with the semi satiated pups. Standing firmly in the middle of the pen, pups attached voraciously to her sagging breasts as they “topped off” their morning feed. Now satiated, the pups lie snoozing where once a short while ago they frantically sought a route to feed their growing needs. Gracie sleeps peacefully at my feet as I give thanks for this quiet reprieve, being thankful for another day and the presence of life abounding. A quiet time of grateful reflection sets the stage for yet another act in the theater of grace!
The sweltering morning heat and humidity engulfs even as we open the door to accomplish some outside chores. Lush and green, the grass seems to sparkle as the dew lingers in the mid-morning shade. Gracie, seemingly delighted to have a puppy reprieve, frolics freely through the field searching out morsels and just the right spot to accomplish nature’s call. As I trek toward the nearly overgrown garden, the trusty canine companion makes her way to join with me as she “oversees” my harvest gathering. Two ripe tomatoes appear to have sustained a rabbit over night, so they are left in place in hopes that already tasted renderings will be sufficient to keep the harvest sharer from the greater goods. Testing the boundaries of this Parkinson’s rigidity, we squat and bend to search out maturing cucumbers for the delightful jars of sweet pickles that enhance sandwiches throughout the winter. Grateful for the harvest, we gather a bag full that has ripened since yesterday. Readjusting to a steady standing position, this thankful taker of the summer’s bounty walks with his ever caring canine companion slowly back to the cool reprieve of the air conditioned old farmhouse. As we put away the small harvest gathering of the morning we express grateful prayers for the opportunities to experience this day’s possibilities.
Dark and overcast, the delivery truck unloaded the drywall in the middle of the driveway. Anxious about the ominous look in the sky and wanting to avoid a wet investment, our neighbor and I began to slowly move the largest pieces into the shelter of the space where it would be used. Previously unaware of the weight of large drywall sheets I strained and inwardly groaned as we moved each piece with the delicacy required to avoid cracking or tearing. After accomplishing approximately ten percent of the task at hand, this reluctant participant in Parkinson’s disease and its attending rigidity and stiffness was aching from head to toe. Anxiety was on the rise as I wondered how I was going to accomplish this seemingly herculean task in a timely fashion. Suddenly a neighbor’s friend arrived to say hello. My compatriot quickly solicited the help of the newly arrived friend and the task that appeared minutes before to be so ominous was complete in short order. Effusive expressions of gratitude were showered verbally upon the two sturdy conveyers of drywall this day. Thankfulness welled up inside as I silently thought of the burden I had been spared by the arrival of helping hands. Though throbbing and sore from the strain exerted already, I am grateful and content that provision was made by the hands of a friend and a stranger. Today’s dose of gratitude shall provide nourishment for days to come!
The white mist consumes the landscape as cooler air insinuates itself into the otherwise hot and humid space outside. A reprieve from the blistering heat is welcomed by plant and animal alike on the farm. Gracie the Golden also enjoys her morning release from the voracious nursing of seven growing pups as she lies spread-eagle beside the sofa as though airing her bulging nipples. Each of her offspring is now beginning to see with eyes wide open. Maturity springs forth as nourishment is provided. The garden, even with an abundance of unwelcomed grass, is bringing forth its harvest for consumption. An abundance of life is manifesting itself all around and one cannot help offering an equal abundance of gratitude for witnessing life’s gift. Though challenged by moments of muscle rigidity and involuntary twitching, the ability to engage in life’s abundance is deemed a blessing and a harvest of thankfulness is offered up in response. May we all grow to understand that life is a gift experienced one moment at a time.
Fast asleep and seemingly exhausted, Gracie the Golden lies beside my chair peacefully as a reprieve from the voracious appetite of her growing brood of infant canines. The adorable pups, satiated and possessing bulging bellies sleep and dream peaceably in their designated space. A voracious first week’s appetite by the pups inspired their mom to consume at least a third more food than normal. They all rest now, mom regaining her strength and puppies metabolizing and growing to become healthy and heartwarming members of someone’s family in the next few weeks. Just two years ago on the summer’s dawn, Gracie was a bouncing and cuddly fur-ball of a pup who had totally won our hearts from the first day of her arrival. She has become a dear and loving companion who has demonstrated her loyalty and attachment on so many levels. As I watch her sleep and dream I give thanks for the opportunity of sharing the time we’ve had together as companions on this daily journey navigating the path with Parkinson’s. Gratitude is one of the gifts she has inspired and her presence multiplies that gift each day. May you uncover the gift of gratitude today!
In that peaceful place of twilight sleep I heard the panting. Gracie (our Golden Retriever) was sitting next to me beside the bed as though looking to me for help. As I arose, I reached forward to cuddle her head in my hands and to rub her chin gently and lovingly. We made our way to the back door and she was off to do her thing. Her return was swift and her prancing and panting was intense. We had prepared a place near the back entrance that was cardboard and paper lined and covered by an old quilt. As Gracie so obediently laid there I could see the contractions starting. Instinctively, she began to lick at the fluid emerging from within and soon the first born male pup arrived on the scene. The sturdy pup quickly became vocal as he whined to instinctively find the source of his sustenance. By Noon, eight pups had been born. Number seven was dead on arrival. She was beautiful bundle, emerging rear first and seemingly frozen in her fetal position. I picked her up and pressed rhythmically on her chest. There was no response and she was “frozen” in her fetal pose. I laid her gently on a towel on the counter and watched to see if any movement would follow. None did. Soon, pup number eight arrived on the scene as a beautiful little female squealing to find her mother’s teat. A healthy litter of five males and two females now were engulfed around the belly of the beautiful and precious Mother Gracie. Filled with gratitude we offered prayers of thankfulness for the healthy seven and their exhausted mother. Holding either one of the precious brood ignites a spark of joy for the gift of new life.