challenge
I fell. I simply got up from my chair and went down hitting objects and papers stacked away in the bookcase beside my chair. I don’t recall having any loss of sensation, nor do I recall the presence of Gracie, the loving and sometimes overly attentive Golden Retriever being at my feet. I don’t recall what I was planning to do or where I intended to go when I launched the action to stand. As I went down, my elbow and shoulder met some resistance from the bookcase, and I somehow almost instantly recognized the need to protect my head from the imminent collision with the floor. Aside from the stiffness in my shoulder joint, very little remains to annoy me from that fall. I use the term annoy because it best describes how I react to the entire experience of Parkinson’s Disease. I am not advocating that the annoyance is a rational response, but rather that it is one that I often experience. Acknowledging the propensity to so frequently experience annoyance helps in the process of challenging the irrational thinking and insert what I am learning to be a more helpful and logical thought process that engages my focus toward a healthier and more positive outcome. The fall did not occur for the purpose of annoying or distracting me, nor did it occur to remind me that PD is a constant opponent in this life. It occurred because of consistent degenerative neurological and muscular responses that position this body in the “not well, not normal” range of possible reactions to movement that is not focused on intent or purpose. Now, I give thanks for the remaining ability to discern and the ongoing ability to practice the exercise with intent of outcome!
At the dawning of the sun the mist was rising from the surface of the pond. Miss Gracie the Golden was searching for a suitable spot to deliver her morning deposit as the sounds of grackles and crows were distracting her. Suddenly from the depths of the valley below the pond, a gobbling warning from a wild tom turkey arose three times. Something must have threatened the flock for such a stern warning to have erupted. Whether fox, raccoon, coyote, or snake we will not know, but we do know the warning gobbles ceased. Gracie returned to her quest for just the right spot and found the location worthy of her deposit. Life could now return to its scheduled agenda of preparing morning coffee and listening to the voracious canine consumption of the morning feed. Life frequently offers up distractions from our otherwise intended agenda. Our challenge is to discern the nature of the distraction as either inconsequential or as a warning of something being amiss. Aches and pains are considered part of the aging process and are often treated as simple distractions. Sometimes persistent pains emerge that require more than mere accommodation. They require our attention to uncover their nature and potential intention. Sometimes the source can be identified and its effect may be either eliminated or diminished. At other times the source may remain unknown and can only be addressed with palliative care. In either case a basket of gratitude from which blossoms of thankfulness may be picked lifts one’s spirit and shines a brighter light on one’s journey.
By: Cathy Garrott
Some days I do far better at coping with the frustrations of life with PD than I do other days. I guess that’s just a part of “normal” life. What used to be, is what I considered “normal,” but all of that has changed. And now I have a “new normal” to get used to and must learn how to cope with it. I’m not alone with this kind of feeling and challenge. My sister is trying to learn how to cope with the fact that she had a stroke, and her world is turned up-side-down from the “normal” she knew up until September of 2012. I am blessed with a caregiver who has looked into what I am dealing with, and in every way he can he seeks to help me adjust to doing as much as I am able to do. He acknowledges that I will never be the “normal” I was before the PD diagnosis, but walks with me in learning the way of my “new normal.” Some things I can deal with easily at this point, others I am learning to cope with day by day. Getting use to things as they are now, and letting go of what we were comfortable with before, is a challenge EVERY person faces … whether they realize it or not right now. It can be political, health wise, relationship, temporal, or eternal.Getting along with the changes I have faced, and will face in the future, is a challenge that every new day brings my way. I am glad that I am assured that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!
By Cathy Garrott
Each day we all must face the unknown. We never know what might happen that will suddenly turn our world up-side-down. Just as my diagnosis of PD came totally out of the blue (when I had been assured it was something else) turning my life into daily struggles I never expected, I am reminded that there are other things that could do the same … stroke, cancer, death of a loved one, dissolution of a marriage, etc. There are all sorts of “dragons” that could rear their ugly heads and bring chaos into my life.
The challenges I must deal with every day because of PD pale in the light of the suffering that others are facing each day. I can’t let one victory cause me to forget the challenge that is still there, but when I realize that victory is possible I am to pursue it with all that is within me to do so! I must never assume that I will be able to go through life without facing challenges of one sort or another. I must forget what is behind and not be hindered by what is no longer available to me, but press forward to what is ahead … to do my best to win the battle laid out for me.
A flick of the wrist and a twist of the nimble fingers and the bottle cap zipped off. An agile hand mindlessly poured the beverage over freshly drawn ice in the glass. A quick perfunctory prayer and knife and fork were at work cutting through the cooked meat then scooping the eggs so nimbly prepared into the waiting orifice. All of this was taking place without thought or care about the individual movements along the way. The day’s agenda lay ahead and the consumption of the food was only a minor pebble over which to travel this day. Suddenly, it seems, without warning, movements considered nimble, agile, flexible and thoughtless gave way to slow, rigid, intentional and attention demanding. Accommodation has to be made for the loss of nimble. Suddenly the impatient recipient of diminished dopamine is forced to address otherwise thoughtless acts with time and intention never anticipated as a part of one’s routine. A challenge never anticipated now unfolds. Does one approach these newly discovered boundaries with the fighting spirit to conquer and overcome, aggressively battling each and every movement that seems to impede? Or does one surrender to the inevitably progressive limitations and huddle in one’s own puddle of pity while silently sulking over the loss? Perhaps there is a more helpful way to address the issue? Some would term it as “making friends” with the reality of change brought on by this series of symptoms called PD. Before fully understanding this new friendship, one must grieve the loss of the old friend who was taken for granted.