By: Cathy Garrott
We have so many appointments in life and often have trouble remembering them all, but we seem to have no trouble remembering the disappointments. They drag us down and ruin our mood … often making us “not so pleasant” company. Disappointments come when we do not get something we think we need, be that a “thing” or the fulfillment of a promise, or something long anticipated with joy. (Not many would be disappointed to be told, “you don’t need to have that surgery that we scheduled.”)
While my brother was here visiting there were things we were able to do, and some we did not get around to in the time available. It was disappointing that the cherry trees were not in full bloom, but it was not a tragedy. Our children make decisions that sadden us at times, but we should not react by withholding our love. A friend’s daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and the parents were devastated and embarrassed. I pointed out to them that it would be far better to live with a disappointment than with a tragedy … an abortion would help them save face, but would take the life of their grandchild, and putting pressure on the daughter might drive her to suicide – which would, indeed, be a tragedy. Today that grandchild is the pride and joy of her grandparents, a cheerful three year old who brightens their lives, AND they have a good relationship with their daughter who has grown in her understanding of what real love is.
One person’s disappointments cannot be compared to another’s. Parkinson’s is not on the same level as a child born out of wedlock, or cherry trees that were not in full bloom at the right time. But our reaction to disappointment can make all the difference in the world in our own peace and happiness. Learning to deal with disappointments and move on with life, making the best of what we DO have, rather than dwelling on what we don’t have or what might have been, influences how happy we are in life.
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