Discernment

I fell. I simply got up from my chair and went down hitting objects and papers stacked away in the bookcase beside my chair. I don’t recall having any loss of sensation, nor do I recall the presence of Gracie, the loving and sometimes overly attentive Golden Retriever being at my feet. I don’t recall what I was planning to do or where I intended to go when I launched the action to stand. As I went down, my elbow and shoulder met some resistance from the bookcase, and I somehow almost instantly recognized the need to protect my head from the imminent collision with the floor. Aside from the stiffness in my shoulder joint, very little remains to annoy me from that fall. I use the term annoy because it best describes how I react to the entire experience of Parkinson’s Disease. I am not advocating that the annoyance is a rational response, but rather that it is one that I often experience. Acknowledging the propensity to so frequently experience annoyance helps in the process of challenging the irrational thinking and insert what I am learning to be a more helpful and logical thought process that engages my focus toward a healthier and more positive outcome. The fall did not occur for the purpose of annoying or distracting me, nor did it occur to remind me that PD is a constant opponent in this life. It occurred because of consistent degenerative neurological and muscular responses that position this body in the “not well, not normal” range of possible reactions to movement that is not focused on intent or purpose. Now, I give thanks for the remaining ability to discern and the ongoing ability to practice the exercise with intent of outcome!