Hard work, planning and preparation had been the cornerstone of the move from the corporate world to private consulting and then the call to Pastor. The house was in order. Suddenly, without a hint of warning, the thief burst through the thoughtfully planned barrier. Not only did he steal flexibility and nimbleness, he has made his home in this place called me. This unintentional host is not at all happy at the intruder’s presence. Today he seems to be reminding me of his presence at every turn. I detest his assertions and want to throw heartfelt curses his way for his challenging my buttoning ability and for the agony of walking he has unloaded in this unintentional host. My anger flared this morning at this thief and I wanted to pound him squarely out of my life. Then, as suddenly as my anger flared, my rational self whispered; “if you give in to the anger, the thief wins by robbing you of peace.” The scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5 that instructs us to “give thanks in all things” came to mind. I have not yet been able to truly give thanks for PD (I’m not sure I need to do so) and its brash interruption of my agenda, but I have grown to be thankful for opportunities to be more empathic, to grow in patience, and for still having a mind that embraces a semblance of rational promptings. Anger is a part of the grieving process and I experience its presence periodically. It is grace that brings me back to the place of thankfulness that God’s presence is sufficient. Living in this place of grace far outweighs the paltry crop of anger that tries to camp out just beside the fire of faith.
Leave a Reply