After having “made friends” with some of the untoward side effects of this disease known as Parkinson’s, (or so I thought) I have discovered that there are still challenges that rumble around the edges of irrationality and require a more conscious effort to “put in its place” than I had been exerting. The belief that a night of seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep was within the realm of possibility has been dashed after several years of “now you sleep and now you don’t”. This morning, after responding to nature’s call, I grunted my way back under the covers to find a resting place. An itch on my back required a scratch. Then, a pressure point pain in my hip required an adjustment. And then, my mind went on its obsessive task of reconstructing the roof of the lean-to shed attached to the old tobacco barn that has slowly been giving way, but nearly collapsed with the last snow fall. Rationality came to visit as I told myself there would be no way to resolve that issue at this time in the middle of the night. This dopamine deprived brain of mine would not embrace the rational thought. I recalled those for whom I had been offering prayers for their healing and or comfort and began prayerful thoughts. The barn shed popped up in my mind again as though a gladiator had returned with sword in hand, flinging the picture of the bent roof directly in my face, shouting “take that”. With a sigh of resignation, I pulled the covers back, slipped on my pajama bottom and my slippers and found my glasses placed gently on the side table just a few hours before. The light from the full moon of that evening was shining through the translucent blinds, so I did not need to flip the switch for full lighting that I feared would lift me to a height of full awareness. After a short journey to the den and securing a comfortable position in the recliner, the handy electronic device used as calendar, telephone, alarm clock, Biblical reference, internet search vehicle was unlocked with my thumbprint and I zoomed into the wonderland of messages and information. A few hours later, I woke to the light of a rising sun, the blank screen of the hand held device and a sense of gratitude for having gained a few more hours of sleep. With a freshly brewed cup of coffee in hand and the day’s designated reading and calendar before me, I gave thanks for the time of deep sleep that had renewed my awareness and energy level, if even slightly. Expressing gratitude for having access to mind numbing distractions from one of the several reconstructive projects, brought with it a sense of peace from which the day’s agenda could emerge. A grateful mind is the engine that propels a thriving heart!
Leave a Reply