thriving
After having “made friends” with some of the untoward side effects of this disease known as Parkinson’s, (or so I thought) I have discovered that there are still challenges that rumble around the edges of irrationality and require a more conscious effort to “put in its place” than I had been exerting. The belief that a night of seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep was within the realm of possibility has been dashed after several years of “now you sleep and now you don’t”. This morning, after responding to nature’s call, I grunted my way back under the covers to find a resting place. An itch on my back required a scratch. Then, a pressure point pain in my hip required an adjustment. And then, my mind went on its obsessive task of reconstructing the roof of the lean-to shed attached to the old tobacco barn that has slowly been giving way, but nearly collapsed with the last snow fall. Rationality came to visit as I told myself there would be no way to resolve that issue at this time in the middle of the night. This dopamine deprived brain of mine would not embrace the rational thought. I recalled those for whom I had been offering prayers for their healing and or comfort and began prayerful thoughts. The barn shed popped up in my mind again as though a gladiator had returned with sword in hand, flinging the picture of the bent roof directly in my face, shouting “take that”. With a sigh of resignation, I pulled the covers back, slipped on my pajama bottom and my slippers and found my glasses placed gently on the side table just a few hours before. The light from the full moon of that evening was shining through the translucent blinds, so I did not need to flip the switch for full lighting that I feared would lift me to a height of full awareness. After a short journey to the den and securing a comfortable position in the recliner, the handy electronic device used as calendar, telephone, alarm clock, Biblical reference, internet search vehicle was unlocked with my thumbprint and I zoomed into the wonderland of messages and information. A few hours later, I woke to the light of a rising sun, the blank screen of the hand held device and a sense of gratitude for having gained a few more hours of sleep. With a freshly brewed cup of coffee in hand and the day’s designated reading and calendar before me, I gave thanks for the time of deep sleep that had renewed my awareness and energy level, if even slightly. Expressing gratitude for having access to mind numbing distractions from one of the several reconstructive projects, brought with it a sense of peace from which the day’s agenda could emerge. A grateful mind is the engine that propels a thriving heart!
The date indicates that Summer should be near its close. The temperature and humidity indicate otherwise. Placing the tarp over the passenger seat of the truck in preparation for Gracie’s transport to the groomer left this PD hosting Boomer with a sticky neck, forehead and overall overheated body. Gracie had already left about three of herself lying all over the floor of the house as she shed her golden hair with little effort and spread it around generously even on the mantle after rolling on the floor and then shaking herself vigorously. Her majesty is not accustomed to walking leashed, since the farm yard is her playground and she never wanders far from the comfort of her shelter. A walk to the groomer, however, is fraught with commands to slow down, as my arm is outstretched, and my shuffling feet are forced to hobble haphazardly forward. The two-hour duration of her nose to tail-tip grooming procedure left me with time to try some shopping and a leisurely lunch at one of my favorite eateries. Even with the full dose of dopamine replenishment in place, these feet attached to these aging legs shuffled ever so slowly to stroll through a couple of nearby stores. Lunch was delicious, but the task of shuffling to order and then taking a seat for its delivery left me challenging my thinking about “eating out” while the pooch was prepped. Soon the text came that Gracie was groomed and ready for her departure back to the home she so dearly loves sharing her fur within. A groomed and less-haired dog prompted the thought that the few days of shedding deposits occupying the floors would best be hosted in the trash by way of the vacuum cleaner. Emptying the canister numerous times amid raging resistance from a body hosting on what has become known as an “off day,” reminded me that life is NOT like it used to be. This disease is real and its manifestations can be at times daunting. The plans I had for the rest of the day and evening were soon “tabled” for a time of relative quiet and intended relaxation to allow the pain and stiffness to subside. This prideful participant in the sometimes-painful Parkinson’s Disease process is frequently faced with what sometimes appears to be the choice between “giving up” or “sucking up” in the throughs of disease symptomology. I have discovered, however, that there is yet another response that serves this host better. That is the act of “offering up” with a grateful heart those expressions of thankfulness for so many things that bring us through challenges. The list would fill a lifetime! A grateful heart is a thriving one!
She sprang from the door to pounce on the frozen white covering of the back yard. What had yesterday been a powdery white snow had become overnight a sheet of ice, resistant to the paws of a playful Golden Retriever. Soon she got her grip to frolic over the frigid ground cover that would lead her to her desired spot in the yard. Silence reigned in these early hours of the frozen morn uninviting even to the crows usually foraging for sustenance. Adaptation to change has been necessary for survival. When physiological change takes place one adapts to that change. Whether a positive or negative adaptation is engaged is ultimately the decision of the one challenged. Seldom does anger, frustration, resistance, or withdrawal lead to a healthy adaptation. Each may have its motivating genesis, but seldom will either lead to an outcome of a thriving nature. Gratitude for the opportunity to engage actions that will build adaptive strength and vigor leads to greater understanding of what those adaptive strengths are. Acceptance that change has occurred bridled with thankfulness for options that embrace new ways of adjusting to that change lay the foundation upon which a thriving life may be upheld.
(By Cathy Garrott)
A friend asked me this morning, “How are you doing?” His question was genuine, and was an expression of his real concern for me. I responded, “Oh, I’ll live, and I MAY even prosper!” He laughed and said, “You’re okay!”
Webster defines “THRIVE” in this way: 1. To grow vigorously; do well 2. To gain in wealth or possessions; PROSPER, FLOURISH. Roget’s thesaurus likens it to success, health, and strength. There are many days that I feel NONE of that! I just want to ignore the world, curl up, and be done with the struggle to enjoy what life I have. Some days I feel I am doing more surviving than I am thriving.
I’ve had to learn to delight in things I never dreamed would bring me joy … being able to exercise without pain (I never thought I’d delight in “exercise” for any reason at all!), losing weight by lowering my calorie intake (I never thought I’d delight in NOT eating for any reason at all), finding a doctor who knows how to deal with my health issues (I never thought I’d delight in going to a doctor for any reason at all), etc. Rather than “gaining in wealth or possessions” I find that I am letting go of things that used to seem so important to me.
Maybe I am re-defining “thrive” … I am learning to think beyond the temporal and concentrate on the eternal. As Paul advised … whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
Contact Cathy at cathy@shinsei.org
It was a beautiful sunny day in southern Italy. The tour had taken us south from Rome the previous day for an evening stay in Sorrento. My sons had been mesmerized with the early evening spent at the show of local and traditional folk music and today was to be a different adventure. We boarded the bus for the short ride to the western edge of the giant Vesuvius, the infamous volcano that blanketed the entire town of Pompeii with its toxic ash two thousand years before. As the tour guide pointed out specific sites he thought to be of interest, we had our thoughts set on climbing the barren crest to the top of the once ferocious outpouring of molten lava. We reached the peak and were each enchanted by the vastness of the cauldron, seemingly dormant. Behind us lay the city of Naples on the shore of the Mediterranean and in front of us the still yet potentially deadly volcano of legend. The vastness of the potentially deadly crater juxtaposed to the busting and thriving city not far from it base gave us pause to reflect on the wonder of God’s creation. Life moves forward in all that surrounds that massive mound made from earth’s molten outflow without a thought of the potential devastation that could come with short notice. So it is with all our lives. An eruptive event may at any moment diminish, disrupt or destroy our very lives, yet we thrive in the presence of the non-event. Today is the gift that is best received with gratitude and opened enthusiastically with the love by which it was given.