thankfulnes
They were both standing outside the vehicle in which they were traveling that day as I turned into the parking area at my cousin’s business. There before me was another cousin and her daughter (from another side of my family) traveling through to a destination in central Virginia. They had called the evening before to see if I might be available to go with them as they visited a couple of locations that the elder of the two female cousins (a few years older than I) had known and played in as a child. They settled in my car and as we turned a corner onto the road named after the lake and retreat area once owned by her father, she gasped as she recognized the house in which my grandmother had lived with one of her sons. Memories came rushing back for me as well as she shared loving thoughts of the times she recalled visiting Grandma (her aunt) at that house. Just a short distance down the road she recognized another house where a cousin of hers (my aunt) had lived. A few winding curves as we traveled west led us to the turn onto the road to the small lake and retreat campsite for which the main road had been named. Her daughter, now herself a grandmother, gasped at the enormity of the structure that once housed all the campers (including me on several occasions) many years ago. The elder cousin told of her father’s act of putting it up for auction whereby the Kiwanis Club of the city nearby purchased the property and maintained it for many years. We left there and drove to the farm next to my family farm that her mother and father had owned and that her mother had spent hours of loving care planting and harvesting a garden. Hearing her recollection of the events and experiences at the places that I had experienced differently was pure joy to this now aging possessor of Parkinson’s. Gratitude filled my heart as we hugged goodbye with promises to stay in touch. Full of thankfulness for the special memories elicited from the visit to places and spaces of my youth reminded me that each day is an opportunity to build upon memories yet to be created. May the experiences of today be driven by the vehicle powered with gratitude for yesterday and the joy of possibilities right now!
The old pecan tree sheds its small green blossom strings as the winds whip by with bursts of energy from the north. Every web a spider has made acts as an unwitting trap for the tree’s rendering, giving warning to this aging possessor of Parkinson’s as to where not to walk lest he be encompassed by the arachnid’s trap. The sky is bright and nearly clear, but the temperature demonstrates a lingering presence of a northern blast as Spring asserts her belated appearance. My preference is a gentle breeze without the presence of flying pecan blossoms and sticky spider webs to avoid while moving awkwardly around the yard by the house. But you see, nature has nothing to do with my preference, but rather follows the prompting of a greater force than the whim of my will. Likewise, I’ve slowly made friends with the fact that being the host to the disease called Parkinson’s has nothing to do with my preferences nor desires. It has blown in to find a place to “act out” its chemically determinant whims. You see, I prefer the absence of pain and the presence of ultimate self-control when moving from one position to another or when walking across the room or out the door. I prefer not having to experience “freezing” moments wherein my body will not move smoothly at my mental (or loud verbal) command. I prefer having a peaceful and restful night’s sleep and to awake to the power of revitalized energy for that day. I also prefer not to experience untoward muscle jerks that accompany those undesired late-night obsessive thoughts of things for which there can be no resolution at that moment. I prefer to not be captive to small chemical substances that must be consumed on a routine basis to lessen the severity of all the things mentioned above that I would prefer not experiencing, plus a few added ones. I am grateful, however, to have the ability to learn how to cope with challenges of nature and disease. What worked yesterday or last week may not work today, but so far, the value of options has shown itself to be available each day. Seeking the place of gratitude for even what appears as the smallest touch of grace that releases one from what was desired and sometimes experienced into the place of what is and could be adapted, fills this heart with hope and assurance that each day, there is a way!
As the sun sheds its cloud filtered glow from the east, the frost covered fields glisten in response. The lone plow stands rusted as it casts its shadow and unknowingly waits for the recycling heap. Its past has been fraught with red clay laden fields as it dug through the grass or leftover crops performing its task of “turning” the soil in preparation for early planting. Gone are its days of usefulness at its intended purpose and new will be its destiny as it becomes transformed into one or more useful objects at recycling. One does not grieve the giving up of the plow, but rather rejoices in the time of usefulness over so many years. Thankfulness for its utility supersedes the thoughts of its loss from the rusty metal which stands waiting midst the frost clad field. Gratitude is a strong antidote for the perception of loss with change. The day changes to night and we give thanks for the light that brightens our path. Night changes to day and we give thanks for a time where rest has been undertaken and renewal may be undertaken in its light. A hearty expression of gratitude lays a firm foundation for building a healthy new day!